Touchy feeley

It is amazing how many times a day I unconsciously touch my nose. Ouch!

Betcha can't guess what I got for Christmas...

A broken nose! My big goofy dog, whose giant head is apparently made of rock, hit my face with that giant head while we were playing and broke my nose. In his defense, he did feel really badly about it, and while I laid on the floor and cried, he laid down beside me and cried too, licking my elbow every few minutes to make me feel better. It is actually not completely broken, just a hairline fracture, but I still have a swollen face and 2 black eyes. Just the thing for pictures around the christmas tree. And, in case you didn't know, a broken nose is very, very painful. Sneezing will make me scream in pain, and I am now terrified of people hugging me, because that brings them a little too close to my face for me to be entirely comfortable. Last night, my friend playfully pretended to grab my nose and I immediately burst into tears just from the thought of the pain. I sure am a fun party guest.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Christine,
Happy birthday to you!

Now you have to imagine that sung in my very off-key voice and accompanied by the many and varied snorting stylings of Desoto to get the full effect. I hope you have a great day! Happy Birthday Christine!

Countdown

I go back to work tomorrow. I cannot believe that I have been home for almost a month already and tomorrow it is back to reality. Although, what is making this ok is the fact that I am going back to a new position, with a supervisor that I have worked with before, who is awesome. So other than the part where I have to actually go back to work and work, I am kind of excited about going back to work. It is kind of embarrasing to note that I have accomplished nothing in the time I had off work. Unless you count sleeping a lot and watching movies, then, well, I did a shit load of stuff.

I dream about wolves

Lately, I have been dreaming about wolves chasing me. Big, growling, scary wolves. I don't need a dream analysis book to tell me what these dreams mean. They mean that my giant, bed hogging dog growls in his sleep. You know when some dogs are asleep they make cute little yips and barks, and their legs twitch like they are chasing cats or cars in their sleep? When Desoto chases stuff in his sleep, he makes big, LOUD, scary growls, like he is Cujo and he is going to eat your head. And when his legs twitch, I gets scratches and bruises. One time, I landed on the floor.

While it is very easy to suggest to me, as does everyone I know, that I just don't let Desoto on to the bed, carrying out this plan is a whole other ball game. The dog is as big as I am, weighs as much and is very determined not to sleep on the floor. So until I convince Desoto that I am the alpha dog in this relationship and I get the bed, I'll be dreaming about big, scary wolves chasing me.

I have been busy

I have been busy lately trying to keep Desoto from eating my laptop. I watching a movie on the laptop the other day and there were cats in the movie. Desoto was lying on the couch with me with his big giant head in my lap and he heard the meowing coming from the laptop and he became convinced that there are kitties living inside the laptop. He hates the laptop anyway because sometimes I pay more attention to it than to him, but now he is just biding his time until I am not looking so he can destroy it and the kitties too. It is quite funny really watching him smell it and look all around it, convinced that if he just stares at it long enough or hard enough, he will find the kitties. I really shouldn't encourage this as it is mean and he really could eat my laptop if he was so inclined, but it's pretty funny.

Unbelievable

These are the 100 most challenged books from 1990 to 2000. As compared to the last list of books, the best english language books from 1923 to 2000 of which I had read 23, I have read almost 60 of these.

Bring on the Lost

Ok, it's Wednesday night and I am ready for Lost. I am all settled in on my couch with a pizza and a pitcher of pomegranate martinis. I am ready. Ready to watch Sayid put the boots to Ana Lucia. Go Sayid. And maybe Sawyer will take some clothes off. Go Sawyer.

Yes, I did watch Oprah today, but I didn't get the idea for the martinis from her show, I have been making pomegranate martinis and bellinis all summer at the hotel. Actually, you can put pomegranate jiuce with almost any liquor and it tastes good. And I cried AGAIN watching Oprah. I really shouldn't watch her, it always makes me cry, but today she and Habitat for Humanity gave 50 families houses. So cool. Don't you wish you were worth a bazillion dollars so you could give away houses and cars and stuff. Not that all the little bits regular people contribute don't count, but it would be so fun to give away BIG stuff. Oh, and I totally cried the other day watching her favorite things show, but that was just because I wasn't getting the cool stuff.

Dammit, I just burned my pizza and now the smoke alarm is going off and the dog is freaking out. This is why I don't cook. Maybe I will just skip the pizza and concentrate on the martinis. Note to self, always take the batteries out of the smoke alarms before going in to kitchen.

Petals around the Rose

I have been playing this game and almost went insane trying to figure out the secret. I finally did, but I may or may not be insane now. Stupid game.

Movies

Since I have been sick so much recently, I have been watching a lot of movies and I have a question...why do so many directors feel the need to make their movies so hard to watch. I have seen so many movies lately that are very darkly lit, use wierd camera angles and/or shaky camera work? Are they trying to look edgy or cool? Is it the sign of a brilliant director when you can only see what is happening in half the movie? For god's sakes, I might think you are, in fact, brilliant if I could only follow what is happening on the screen. It's hard to know whether or not a movie was good if I haven't been able to see most of it.

Christine, Domino sucked. While it isn't the worst movie I have ever seen (or half seen...see above) it is certainly in the top ten. Except for the spanish guy, he is cute, and the 90210 guys.

3 days

So, I have been off work for 3 days now, and I really wish that I could tell you all the wonderful things I have accomplished and all the projects that I have completed. But no. I haven't done anything at all except sleep a lot (on doctor's orders!), watch movies, surf the net, walk the dog, and go out to dinner twice. I could very easily grow to love being a lady of leisure. The only downside has been my asthma, which is really bad, and struggling to breathe all the time is exhausting, hence the sleeping a lot. But so far, loving staying home.

It's a boy!

Congratulations to Peter and Jillian on the arrival of their son, Jake Peter MacKinnon! And congratulations also to his very proud Aunt Christine, Uncle Mike and Grandpa Dick!

Changes

So, it turns out that my job has been making me sick. I have asthma, and with the really old files that I have been working on, my doctor thinks that whatever I have been inhaling has been causing or contributing to my being sick all the time. So, as of today, I am off for a month. And when I go back to work, I won't be in the same place or doing the same job. So what I will be doing or where I will be is a mystery. I will still be with Veterans Affairs, but other than that, maybe a whole new job. Kind of exciting. And hopefully after a month of being away from the nasty files, I will be 100% again. That would be cool.

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, it really made my day! It kind of helped with the fact that I turned old last week.

Happy Birthday to ME

It's my birthday today. My birthday is my favorite day of the whole year. It's all about me today. I love my birthday. So far today, I have had coffee and cold pizza for breakfast, which is always a great way to start the day.

I really have no big plans for the day, just a couple of books, magazines, movies, a walk with the big dog and a visit to my dad. Nice easy day, not much different than this past week when I was so sick except for the not feeling like death part.

Anyway, I am just going to hang out and enjoy my day. happy birthday me.

It's not nice to be mean to the sick person

So, I had a really good day today. I ddn't die, I got out of bed, and I had 2 cups of coffee. While I am not all the way better, I have started on the path. I even left the house for a brief time. Not that I wanted to leave the house, but apparently the big dog needs to be fed every day or he gets a little touchy. Never mind that I was dying for four days, but as I was saying I had a good day.

I decided to watch Stay, the movie with Ryan Gosling in it. I really only wanted to see the movie because Ryan Gosling is in it because he is cute and since he is only about 12, I am now being punished for thinking he is cute. I don't understand. My brain hurts. I have been sick. I took a lot of cold medicine. My brain is not yet running at full capacity. This movie is very confusing. I have a lot of questions. That was mean. I am very sorry I think a teenager is cute, now please explain. Start at the beginning.

I had coffee today

So, I am on the mend, I think. I actually had coffee today. I am still in bed and I still can't talk very well, but I have started to move away from the bright light. Maybe tomorrow I'll try getting out of bed. Something to look forward to.

And: TWO MORE DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Why me?

I am sick. So sick. So sick that I can't talk and my throat is so swollen that I am having trouble breathing. I tried to call my supervisor this morning but he couldn't understand me croaking into the phone, so I had to email him instead.

I am so sick that:
1. I can't eat the leftover halloween chocolate.
2. I can't drink coffee.
3. I don't even care that it's my birthday in 4 days.

I am so sick. Not to mention cranky, miserable and whiny. Except whiny only in my head because I can't talk.

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good girl all year (well except for that one time, but that shouldn't count, it wasn't my fault). For Christmas I would like a new immune system. I will leave you milk and cookies.

Love Angela

Can I see your ID please?

Know what I hate? 20 year olds with no costumes trick or treating. At least paint your face or put on a wig or something. If I am giving you perfectly good candy that I could otherwise be eating, you could at least make a little effort.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone!

Hope you have lots of treats and not too many tricks today.

I am off to get ready for all the kids...and Desoto just informed me that he wants to be a ballerina so he doesn't scare everyone away.

Now check out this one

I just found this website - Overheard in New York. Too funny.

Check this out

Dico and the gang's lunchtime conversation: What we talked about at lunch.

I carry your heart with me ( I carry it in my heart)

I just saw the movie "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz. I was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. I loved the book when I read it a couple of years ago, but didn't expect them do such a good job with the movie. The movie is about 2 sisters and their relationship, and it made me want to call my sister and tell her I love her. I am lucky to have a really great sister. One who, unlike the movie, has never slept with any of my boyfriends (thanks Jen!).

Like most sisters, Jennifer and I have had our ups and downs. She is lucky that she survived her childhood because you have never met such a rotten, stubborn little girl. She constantly tattled on my brother and I, and we were always forced to babysit or take her places. Thankfully she outgrew that stage without Mike or I having to kill her and dispose of the body. We would have gotten away with it too, because with her out of the way, there would have been no one to tell on us.

I remember the time I was hiding a pack of cigarettes in my nightstand. Of course, Jennifer found them, since I am pretty sure that is how she earned her allowance - looking through our stuff and then telling Mom and Dad what she found. I told her that the smokes weren't mine, that they were Liane's. I blamed everything on Liane because her parents were incapeable of enforcing any kind of punishment. The longest she was grounded was about 10 minutes. I, however, spent a straight year grounded for various non-parental approved activities. I told Jennifer that I was holding the cigarettes because Liane would get into trouble if anyone knew about them, and told her that it was a secret and not to tell anyone.

So, that night at dinner, as we all sat around the table, Jennifer said, in the kind of whisper that you can hear five blocks away, "Did you tell Mom and Dad about the secret?"
Me: "Shut up."
Dad: "What secret"
Me: "Nothing. Shut up Jen."
Dad: "What secret? And don't tell your sister to shut up. Jennifer, what secret?"
Jennifer: "Angela has cigarettes, but it's okay because they are Liane's."

So, I got grounded. Liane didn't. Jennifer got a bigger allowance.

But we all survived Jen's childhood with no killing and she grew up to be a great sister and a great friend. She is one of those people that you just like being around, she makes everything more fun. Whenever I had parties, my friends always wanted to know if Jen was coming. Unfortunately, she lives far away from me, so I don't get to see her a lot, but we always have fun when we get together.

So Jen, I hope you go see this movie, and if you do, know that it made me think of you. And cry, but I always cry, just like you. Love you.

And its only 8 more sleeps until my BIRTHDAY!

Death Defying Wednesday

I was nearly hit by the same idiot driver of a blue mini-van (not my father because he was driving too fast) 2 times on my way to work today. First he ran a 4 way stop (why do people on PEI find it soooo fucking hard to proceed correctly through a 4 way stop. It is not that hard, assholes) and almost crashed into the side of my car. It wasn't that he didn't wait for me to go first, I was halfway through the intersection. He just didn't stop at the stop sign. Then, a couple of streets later, I was starting to parallel park, I was pulled over, with the car in reverse and my signal light on, and the same guy came tearing up the street and almost crashed into the back of my car. I am starting to think that bad drivers just follow me around to piss me off. It's a conspiracy. I KNEW IT!

I am a slacker

I have only read 23 of these books - the Time Magazine list of the top 100 english language books since 1923. Athough I do have 3 more on my bookcase waiting to be read. I guess I have a project for the winter.

New addiction

OMG... How good is Prison Break!

Sleepover

So, I had a sleepover (of the adult variety) last week. And, while this may be cause for celebration on my part, a certain member of my family was not so impressed with this turn of events. There was growling, which progressed to barking, which progressed to Desoto hurling himself against my overnight guest in an attempt to knock him down and, I don't know, maim him, to keep him away from me. Not really the romantic mood I had envisioned. He made a total nuisance of himself, trying to be in between us at all times. Then, when Desoto was locked out of the bedroom for the night, he proceeded to bash the door with his (giant) head and cry. Very loudly. Again, mood enhancing. When I finally relented, after a while, and let him back in the bedroom, there took place a battle over which two of the three of us were going to be sleeping in the bed. You would think that two people against one dog wouldn't be that difficult, but when that dog weighs 150 lbs, and is determined to sleep in the middle, it's more than a little tricky.

Needless to say, I think the sleepovers will have to take place at someone else's house from now on.

My hair

About six weeks ago, I cut off all my hair. I went from having long, long hair to having hair that is less than an inch long. It's not that big a deal, I really like having it short. It was funny watching everyone else's reactions. So, it didn't take me long to get used to it, but the other morning I got out of bed after not sleeping very well and glanced in the mirror and freaked out! For some reason, my short-haired reflection caught me totally off guard and I actually screamed "Aaaaagggghhh, MY HAIR!" I don't know if I was dreaming that I still had my hair, or what happened, but it was kind of funny.

Stupid Oprah

So, I was home on my couch today, feeling very sorry for myself because I have a cold and an ear infection. The ear infection is making my balance all wonky so I am walking like I have been on a 3 day bender and it also makes me nauseous, all a recipe for some wallowing in self pity UNTIL I watch Oprah who has some inspirational stories about people with real problems which totally make me cry and then I feel like a big jerk for feeling sorry for myself when all I have wrong with me is a sick stomach, a runny nose and the inability to walk a straight line. I hate Oprah.

Look at my pretty boy

 


 

Elizabethtown

I went to see Elizabethtown the other night with some friends. I actually had no real interest in seeing this movie, but I did want popcorn, so I went. It wasn't my favorite. I am not a fan of Kirsten Dunst (would it kill her to wear a bra?) and I think that Orlando Bloom looks better with long blond hair and elf ears, but I do like Cameron Crowe and I had popcorn, so not all bad. The movie soundtrack was amazing though and Susan Sarandon looks incredible. Hard to believe that she is almost 60!

Can't Stop the Signal

I have now given over completely to my inner geek. I think I am a Browncoat. You have my permission to shoot me if I start talking about going to Comic-Con!

I have always been a little obsessive about things I like, but I have now sunk to a whole new level. I started hearing about the movie Serenity and realized that it was a movie of a tv series that I had seen a couple of episodes of before it was cancelled. So I watched a couple of episodes to remind me and was hooked. I had forgotten how much I love and adore Joss Whedon, the series creator, who also did Buffy and Angel, and who is a brilliant writer. I want to live in his head. So, I went out and bought the DVD of the series, which I have now watched 3 times. Once with the commentary. I know, I know. I have now seen the movie once in the theatre and twice at home. Not that I downloaded it because that would be wrong and illegal. It just appeared. Faeries brought it, or elves. Maybe Santa. Then I bought the book of the movie and read that twice. I may need an intervention. I have obsessively read about Serenity and Firefly on the internet, I even know how much the movie is making at the box office. Not enough, by the way. They need to make 80 million and then there will be 2 more movies, according to the internet.

The only person who cannot make fun of me is Christine, because she has done the exact same things. Apparently wierdos flock together, Christine.

Yes, I live in the creepy whorehouse

So, I came home the other day to find that Scott had been to the dollar store to buy halloween decorations. I love that he did this because I am not really one for decorating. I think about it, but I never seem to actually get around to it. I tend to be a big thinker, but I am not big on the follow-through.

So, we now have a skeleton on the front door who seems to be grabbing his crotch, as well as a red lightbulb in the porch light. So now when you see my house at night, the red light screams "Whores live here", and the skeleton with the inappropriatly placed hands just backs that theory right up. Not that I am complaining. Extra cash always comes in handy.

Yet another stupid baby name

I thought that Nicholas Cages might just win the prize for stupidest baby name ever with Kal-el Cage, but there is just so much competition, its hard to pick a winner. Celebrities are stupid.

Here are a few more:

Moxie Crimefighter, daughter of Penn Gillette
Rumer Glenn, Tallulah Belle and Scout LaRue, daughters of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
Jett, son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston
Diezel and Denim, sons of Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis
Prince Michael, Prince Michael II (AKA Blanket), and Paris Michael, children of Michael Jackson
Speck Wildhorse and Hud, sons of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin
Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayre (seriously)
Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton
Zowie Bowie, son of David Bowie
Rolan Bolan, son of Marc Bolan
Banjo, son of Rachel Griffiths
Lyric and Zephyr, daughter and son of Robby Benson
Kyd, son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
Reignbeau and Freedom, daughter and son of Ving Rhames
Jermajesty, son of Jermaine Jackson

Penguins are cute!

I went to see March of the Penguins last night. What a great movie. Those penguins are pretty darn impressive. Although, having been in close proximity to penguins while I was in South Africa, pretty darn smelly. They have to march over 70 miles to find a mate, have a little penguin, keep it and themselves alive, all in the freezing cold of Antartica. If you haven't seen it, you definitely should.

Martinis, bad!

You know when you go to a function and they have those little tiny, plastic wine glasses? Well, if you drink about 82 little tiny plastic wine glasses full of wine, you get just as drunk as when you drink out of big glasses. Who knew?

I had a family function on Saturday night. So of course I made Christine come with me (I do not like to suffer alone) so we could go out somewhere after. She came to meet me and then we went to 42nd Street and drank a lot of martinis. First I had a couple of raspberry ones and then we started drinking these martinis that tasted just like vanilla cake mix, but with grated chocolate on top. So very good. I am not sure how many martinis we actually drank, but combined with the 82 tiny glasses of wine, I am sure you can guess what kind of a state I was in. The problem with sitting at 42nd Street drinking martinis is that they don't really hit you while you are sitting. It is not until you are up and moving around that you realize you might not be sober any more.

So we left the bar, and we go outside and I say to Christine, "You know, I think I could probably drive the couple of blocks to my place." And Christine, with great self-restraint, does not punch me, but says instead, "Are you out of your mind! Do you realize how much you just had to drink?" And then it hit me. Holy crap, I am very, very drunk and possibly not able to walk, let alone drive home. And then I fell down. So, sorry Christine. Thanks for not drinking 82 tiny glasses of wine before the martinis and being much more sensible than I was.

And then I went home and called people, people who really should not have been called at 3 am, or ever actually. Fortunately, most were not at home. Unfortunately, some were.

My new toy!

I am writing this post from home on my new laptop! I haven't had a working computer at home for a while, so I have been doing all my computing either at work (on my breaks of course) or at my parents. So it is quite a treat to be able to post from home. And next week, I will be in geek heaven as all the toys that I bought to with the laptop arrive, like a docking station, wireless router (so I can post from my bed), and maybe an Ipod. Fun!

My Favorite Place

My favorite place for online shopping, besides Ebay of course, is
Bookcloseouts. This is my favorite because they have BOOKS! Lots and lots of books, cheap! Last week I ordered 15 books and it came to around $42.00, including the shipping. They also have a great wish list feature that lets you put in the books you want and they will email you when they get copies in. Books, yay!

Here's a story...

I used to date this guy for a couple of years, and then he went away for a couple of weeks, and when he got back from his trip did not come and see me, his girlfriend of a couple of years, for several days. Or even call to say hi. Because he was really tired and was sleeping. For several days. And then we weren't dating anymore because I just felt like I wasn't a priority for him, since, you know, I rated somewhere below napping.

Then he married a dumb girl with really big boobs. Then they got divorced (Hahahaha. Oh, was that mean?). So I run into him in the mall one day last week and we chat for a while, and he says, Give me your number and we'll have coffee and catch up sometime." So I do. I know, stupid, but I really thought it would be one of those things that people suggest doing but never in a million years actually do. Wrong. He has since called three times. And left three messages. I told my Mom that he called and she said, "Remember the last time he suggest coffee? You told him when hell froze over. Well, it hasn't frozen over yet."

So then yesterday morning he called. At 7:15 am. In the morning. When I was sleeping. To chat. Why, for the love of God would he call me in the morning? Anyone who knows me for longer than about 10 minutes knows that I am not a morning person. Not even in the most delusional mind can I be considered the kind of person that you would call at 7:15 am, to chat. I hate the morning. The morning interrupts my sleeping and I love my sleeping. Normally, I would have been awake for ages by this time, since Desoto likes to wake me up to go for a walk very early, but I had worked really late the night before so I decided to sleep in and walk Desoto later. But even if I had been up for hours, I still don't want to talk to anyone. Some days I don't want to talk to anyone until noon and I have had 2 pots of coffee. Apparently, the years we dated, when I was even less of a morning person that I am now, have all been erased from his mind.

So I was quite rude on the phone. You think that he would have gotten a clue, but no. He called last night to apologize for waking me up.

Town Skunks

So far this summer, Desoto and I have been sprayed one time. Can we all please cross our fingers that it will be the only time. The dog, he does love the skunks. Idiot.

I can't sleep

I am averaging about 2 - 3 hours a night and I am starting to get cranky. I can fall asleep no problem, I just can't stay asleep. At around 4 am every morning, I wake up and there is no more sleep to be had. Desoto, of course, thinks that because I am awake it is time to go for a walk, so he stands beside the bed and alternates between excited panting and whining. You would think that I would just give in and get out of bed, since I know I will not be sleeping any more, but no, I refuse to give up hope and I lie there, tossing and turning, getting more and more pissed off that I cannot go back to sleep. Getting up would mean that the no sleep wins, even though it does. This also means that I am late for work every morning because I will try to sleep until the very last possible second, even though I know it is pointless. I am sure there is a life lesson here that I just refuse to learn.

My boys! 

Mikey turns 3 years old! 

Angels with dirty faces. My other nephew, Marty. 

My nephew, Mikey, the artist. 

Townie

Desoto and I encountered outr first town skunk last night. As we are 0 for 2 against the Stratford skunks, I am not expecting us to fare any better against the Charlottetown skunks, so I am on constant high alert when we walk at night. Luckily, I saw the skunk an instant before Desoto did, so I managed to get a good grip and brace myself. The head went up and you could just hear the thought process "A kitty! I love kitties! Must chase the kitty!" In my head, Desoto sounds like Forest Gump (Jennie!), but after a short tug-of-war, I won. Although I did get a few dirty looks as we walked along after (mean Mommy).

I finally got myself a pair of Crocs, and now I am never taking them off. So comfortable. And so ugly.

Wedding Crashers

Christine and I went to see Wedding Crashers the other night, and it is one of the funniest movies I have seen in a very long time! I laughed so hard there was snorting. Christine was laughing so hard at one point that I leaned over to tell her to take a breath, or I was scared she would have an aneurysm. Very, very funny. I have always loved Owen Wilson (the Butterscotch Stallion), but now after seeing Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which he totally steals, and this movie, Vince Vaughn is my new favorite.

A friend of mine says that her fantasy is Vince Vaughn in bed with her and Owen Wilson standing beside the bed entertaining her.

"Lock it up. No, you lock it up" is repeated endlessly at my work now.

Guess what I bought....

A ROOMBA!!!

The floors, they will be clean. Unless Desoto eats it.

Except now they have a Scooba, which sounds even cooler. Dammit.

Desoto is a genius

So it has been fairly warm lately, which I would normally love except for 2 things. My office is not air-conditioned (it averages about 28 - 29 degrees), and neither is my house. The house not being air-conditioned isn't so bad for me, but Desoto is suffering. He is built for cold weather, not hot, so he mostly lies around, panting big puddles of drool onto my hardwood floor. I take him to the beach to swim lots (he loves the beach) or take him to my parents to play in the hose, which he also enjoys. During the night, he will wake me up frequently so he can go outside and lie in the dirt under the deck to cool off. I don't have a hose, due to no outside faucet, so I was trying to come up with a way to cool him off, mostly so I could get some sleep, so I decided to put him in the bathtub and run the cold shower over him. This was a great idea! I am a genius too! Desoto loves the shower. Except now he wakes me up all the time and then goes and stands in the bathtub, waiting for me to turn the shower on.

The other night, I was sound asleep and Scott, my roommate came home. He went into the bathroom, to do whatever, when he heard this odd noise (Desoto makes a strange snuffling, grunting, wild animal sounding breathing noise sometimes). After recovering from the fright induced, almost heart attack, he turned around to find Desoto standing in the bathtub, waiting for someone to turn on the water.

When Scott told me this the next day, after I stopped laughing (sympathy being in short supply in my house) I asked him if he had turned the water on. After looking at me like I was insane, and asking why he would want to do that, I explained my genius idea. Scott didn't exactly say that he thought I was, indeed, a genius, but he did say that he had been wondering why the bathroom floor was always wet lately.

Boring

I haven't been posting lately, mostly because I have been busy with the work and the work, and haven't been doing anything worth talking about. I went to a movie, went out for dinner, had some drinks, went to the beach, walked the dog, and that about covers it. Liane says I am so boring she is not going to read my blog anymore. At least I post more than Jennifer.

Other than that, I have been reading all aboutTom Cruise and Kate (she is apparently too grown up for Katie) Holmes and waiting for someone to stage an intervention, kidnap and deprogram Miss Holmes. I think the Vatican should do it, since she used to be Catholic, and if the Pope thinks Harry Potter is bad, he should really take a stance on TomKat. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Tom, but I love him more when he does not talk. I fully realize that he is as crazy as a bag of hammers, but when he is not talking, at least he is pretty.

Nothing to say

Since I have had nothing to say to you recently ( I don't really have an excuse, so feel free to supply one) I thought I would link to a very funny post about Ikea. I love Ikea, although we don't have one any where near me so I don't get to shop there very often. And this week is the semi-annual sale. So feel the Ikea love vicariously through her post.

Scary trend or just stupidity?

I have seen a couple of alarming trends lately. People wearing pajama pants as clothes drives me nuts. And not just teenagers, but adults. Big fat men and mothers with kids at the grocery store. They are not clothes, they are pajamas. Stop being so goddamn lazy and put on a pair of jeans. I swear, it doesn't take that much energy.

The other one is women wearing black bras under white shirts. Same thing as with the pajamas - bras are underwear, not clothes. You wear one under your clothes to hold up your boobs. I don't want to see your bra. Either wear a non-white shirt or buy a nude bra. Especially if you are 45 and wear an industrial strength one an inch thick, please cover that up.

I was complaining about this to Liane the other day, and she told me that when she picked up her daughter at school one day, two girls came out of the school wearing pajama pants under skirts. What kind of stupidity is this! Wear pants - preferably not pajamas, OR wear a skirt, not both.

TV Overload

I am soon going to have to have the television remote pried from my hand. There has been too much good tv on lately and my time in front of the tube is getting out of hand. With all of the season finalies on and the white trash extravaganza that is Britney & Kevin, I am fearing for my mental health.

I have to confess that I watched the whole hour of Britney & Kevin - I just couldn't tear my eyes away from the nastyness of it all. Then I had to shower, because, ick. They smoke (and not just cigarettes in my opinion - did you see his squinty, red eyes?), they drink, they talk about sex - whatever happened to the sweet little girl who used to be Britney. Not that I was a fan, but the little girls love her. I don't think I would be entirely comfortable letting my little teenybopper watch this show. And that Kevin dude, ick again. Listening to the two of them talk is just painful. They cannot seem to speak in complete, coherent sentances. But, you know what? I will probably watch it again, just because it is so nasty and I can feel superior because she may be rich and famous, but I can speak in whole sentances and I have better skin.

Then there is Lost. I am totally addicted to this show. Although I do now have to watch it by myself, because frankly, I don't want to expose anyone else to the screaming, cursing, drooling (over Sawyer), sometimes crying, and just plain wacko behavior that accompanies me watching this hour of television. Even the dog leaves the room. The only thing that I am not going to love about the trip to Montreal is that I won't get to see the finale until I get back home.

I do love Alias, but now, the whole time I watch the show, I am trying to see how pregnant Jennifer Garner looks. Plus I worry about her and the baby when she does her stunts. Some of them look dangerous. I haven't quite decided if that takes away from my enjoyment of the show or if it adds to it.

One last show I am looking forward to is tonights CSI - written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, who I just love. Two whole hours of "Kill Gil"! I may have to watch this one alone too.

I will be glad when all these shows are done, just so I can get away from my TV for a while. Do they have a Betty Ford for television?

My new Hero

Her Name is Pamela Ribon and she is a writer. Every year she has a book drive to help school get the books they need and this year she has decided to sponsor an area in India that was badly affected by the tsunami. This is the book drive website. You should go there and donate. I did. Then go to her website and read all the emails from people who have donated. Its cool.

Apparently, I need to move to Brazil

A town in Brazil celebrated Orgasm Day yesterday!

Remember when...

Remember when we were 20 and we could party like maniacs every night, stay out until 4 am, drink our faces off, eat chinese food at dawn and still get up every day and go to school and after school, go to work? I cannot do that any more. After a very late, fun night on Saturday, Sunday was painful. I am old. It was fun, though.

I have a couple of questions...

Is it wrong to drink Starbucks Coffee Liquor in the morning instead of just coffee? It's got coffee in it and it tastes really good.

Why the fuck is the runaway bride still on tv talking about her non-wedding? Who cares? Get married, don't get married, whatever. What happened to actual news on the news?

Why does this guy who lives on my street insist on driving REALLY fast down the street, just to slam on his brakes at the stop sign, every single day? Is this a sign that he is really very cool? Or that his car is really cool? I wish he would stop - loud cars irritate Desoto.

Does the guy standing outside the liquor store asking for money for coffee think we believe that he really wants coffee?

Why is it that the tv shows I am excited to watch are all teen dramas (like the Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, the OC)? Deep down, do I think I am still 16? Or do I just want to be?

Why does Desoto insist on having 6 or 7 small poops instead of just one big one when I take him for a walk?

Why does Ben Affleck make such bad movies? You know he's got talent in there somewhere. Is it bad management? Or is he just too busy with all his romancing to care? I watched Daredevil yesterday, that's why I am wondering.

Ok, that is all the questions.

13 more sleeps until Montreal, Joss Stone, Starbucks (0.41 miles from our hotel), shopping, the gay palace (as our hotel is now known) and rude french people.

Montreal!

I am so happy to report that Liane and I are going to see Joss Stone in Montreal on May 29th! I love Joss Stone. And I like her Gap ads way better than Sarah Jessica Parker's. Sadly, Christine will not be joining us at the concert as she will already be gone back to the UK.

We will also be taking in a Cirque de Soleil performance as well. It is so nice to be going to a place where stuff happens, as opposed to Charlottetown, where nothing much ever goes on.

The hotel that I booked online, Maison Brunet, is apparently right in the heart of Montreal's gay district, so no need to worry about our safety. Although Liane is a little worried that her birkenstocks will give out the wrong impression.

Only 14 more sleeps until Montreal!

Funny Girls

I love these girls - they are so funny!

I was abducted by aliens!

There is no other explanation. I got up this morning as usual, went out with the dog, showered and left for work at 8:20, same as I do every day. Got to work, got a coffee and sat at my computer to go through emails. I looked up at the clock after I had been here for a while to discover that the clock said 9:50. Since I have only been here for 15 - 20 minutes, somewhere I have lost an hour. Between leaving the house and getting to work, I apparently lost an hour. I must have been abducted by aliens who performed wierd and gross experiments on me. There is no other explanation. Well, maybe that my power went out at home for exactly an hour, but I think we all know which is the more probable explanation, don't we?

So, here I am

I have not been updating lately, due to an extended illness (again). I was out sick for almost a week, home in bed, feeling sorry for my self and cursing my (non-existent) immune system. Thankfully, Scott came in and walked Desoto for me a couple of days because the sulking and the crying were getting to be too much. One big baby in the house is plenty thanks. Now Scott is Desoto's new best friend.

Other than that, not much going on with me. I am trying to finish getting organized in the house, get all my stuff put somewhere other than in a pile of boxes in the spare room. I guess I am going to have to break down and throw some things away, because I have taken this pack rat thing to a whole new level. And since my roommate will be moving in soon, I guess he wants some place to put his stuff. Although, knowing myself, I will probably just pack everything away in boxes again. I may need an intervention.

Stuff

Since I moved into my new house, I have been very excited about getting all of my stuff out of the boxes that some of it has been in for years. When I moved back from Halifax, I just put a lot of the boxes into my parents basement and left them there. When I bought the house, they made me clear out all my boxes from their basement, so I have been unpacking stuff that I haven't seen in many years. Some of it is really cool, like pictures and books and things. But, I am starting to get tired of the stuff. Seriously, why do I have SO MUCH OF IT! It is endless. And why have I kept all of this stuff for all of these years. Apparently I have inherited the inability to throw anything away from my pack rat mother. Although, I seem to be in worse shape since I have seen my mother throw something away, I am almost sure of it. I, on the other hand, have seemingly never thrown anything away.

I am running out of places to put the stuff.

And the books. I love to read, I read a lot, and I read anything and everything. I have bought 5 new bookcases (in addition to all the ones I already owned) to put the books. And I still have about 8 crates of books not unpacked yet. Did you need something to read? Come to my house. I have all my textbooks, as wells as most of my notebooks, scribblers and binders from many years of university. Why do I keep this stuff. It's borderline pathological. I will never need to read about clinical psychology again, I hope, so why haven't I gotten rid of this book and all my notes from this class? I am pretty sure I am never going to be a psychologist, and probably won't be needing this book anytime soon, but there it is, on my bookcase, just in case.

One of these days, I am going to clear out all of this junk. I am going to get rid of all of this stuff I have and stop being a pack rat. I am going to be a minimalist. I am.... a big liar. I will never get rid of anything. I will just box it back up until the next time I move. And then go through this all again.

Note to the MacKinnons. You are making me very jealous. Christine is off to Dubai today (Have a great trip! Bring me back a present!)and Peter is going to see U2 in concert (Have fun! Bring me back Bono!). Very very jealous. Mike better not win the lottery or anything or I will explode from all the envy.

Happy Green Beer Day!

May those who love us love us
And those who don't love us
May God turn their hearts,
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.
--Irish Prayer


Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! I hope the luck of the Irish is yours today.

I am a genius!

Shut up, I am too.

I got a new washing machine delivered yesterday, but they forgot a couple of hoses. So, today, I went out to get the proper hoses and then I hooked up my washing machine and my dryer ALL BY MYSELF! And they both work and do not leak water all over the floor. Desoto laid on the floor and watched me in amazement as I performed these handy-man type tasks. He never knew his mom was so talented. And only a couple of swear words were said. By Desoto, not me.

So Funny

These girls, who are responsible for my favorite website ever, TWOP, are so freaking funny!

Wild Weekend

I had a very exciting weekend. I unpacked boxes and cleaned. And hung out with my dog, who is feeling very much better. I did leave the house several times as well - once to have pizza with my cousin the veterinarian who calmed me down and kept me sane during the time I was convinced that Desoto was going to die, and once to have brunch on Sunday with Scott and Andrea. So, all in all, very entertaining. And my house is starting to look like a house now, instead of a pile of boxes.

Desoto is back to normal, meaning that he wants to go outside for walks all the time and acts very offended if I don't come outside and play with him right now. Since we moved into the new house, he has decided that he doesn't like other people walking down his street. He will tolerate people driving down the street, unless you are driving a loud truck, these he does not like, but he does not appreciate people walking by the house at all. And he really doesn't like all the kids who walk by at lunch time. He takes his guard dog duties very seriously. He sits by the big front window all the time. If he sees someone coming, he will stand up and give them his best scary dog look, then when they get close to the house, he barks a couple of times to scare them away. Then when they have gone, he sits back down to get ready for the next one.

I came home for lunch on Friday and when I came into the house, I closed the screen door but not the inside door. Desoto and I were at the top of the stairs and he noticed a group of kids standing at the end of the driveway talking. As he doesn't like anyone on his property, he flew down the stairs, barking that great, loud, big dog bark that he has, and as he hit the screen door, it flew open and he landed out on the doorstep, barking those big, deep, WOOF's. You have never seen a group of kids scatter like that! It was really very funny, they ran like they were scared Desoto was going to eat them, which I am sure they were. I am pretty sure that I would have run for my life too. Desoto stood on the doorstep glaring until all the kids were gone, and then he turned around and came back into the house, as if to say, "OK, I did my job, they are all gone." It's a ggod thing he didn't try and chase anyone, because I was laughing too hard to have been of any use in saving the kids. When the kids walked back after their lunch, they all walked on the other side of the street.

Better Day

So, today is a better day. I have calmed down and after a visit to the veterinarian, and many phone calls to my cousin who is also a vet, I am feeling very hopeful that Desoto is going to be ok.

The vet thinks that Desoto either had a seizure or he has a problem with his heart. He is the right age for seizures to start showing up, apparently they start manifesting around 2 yrs old, and if this is the problem, it is really the best case since some dogs may have only a couple of seizures, or have them only a few times a year and not need to be medicated at all.

Big dogs like Desoto are prone to heart problems though, but when I asked my cousin the vet about it she said that if it was a heart problem, it would likely (but not always) have shown up in a heart murmur or an arrythmia, which Desoto doesn't have, so that is keeping me hopeful.

He had blood test done which all came back normal (thank goodness), and he now has to have some tests done on his heart, like a chest x-ray, an ultrasound and an ECG, and that will show if there is a problem with his heart, and what it is.

So he was great last night, and I am feeling much better today. If it was a seizure, then that is good - well, not good, but better than anything else - and it can be controlled with medication. If it is a heart problem, well, I will wait until after all these tests and see what the doctor says before I start thinking worst case.

So, thanks for all the positive vibes sent to me and Desoto. It really helped. Keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't have a heart problem.

My dog is sick

Desoto is sick and I am scared out of my mind. Last night he was upstairs with me in my bedroom when he collapsed in a heap on the floor and went unconscious. I have never seen anything like it - he just went boneless then lost control of his bladder. I thought he was dead and started screaming. After a couple of minutes he came around a little bit and tried to get up, but couldn't. He laid on the floor with his head on my lap as I cried my eyes out for about 20 minutes. Then after a bit, he came around and got up. He shook himself and then he seemed fine, wagging his tail and wanting to go outside. This morning, he still seems fine, although he is a little shaky, but he ate and drank like normal.

I called the vet and am going in today to have him examined, and I am terrified that he is really sick. So any positive energy you can send his way would be appreciated.

Moving day! 

What do you mean "Get down?" 

My Dad made the mistake of calling the cat onto the chair with him - guess who thinks he is a lap dog? 

Jealousy!

So, today, I am insanely jealous. Christine is going to DUBAI on holiday for Easter. I am not.

Move, then collapse

So I am all moved in! Except nothing is unpacked and shall probably remain in boxes for a little while yet, as I try to decide where stuff should go. but all my stuff is now in my house. Then, after all the painting, cleaning and moving, I promptly collapsed from exhaustion and the flu and stayed in my bed (I love my bed!) for two days. But at least all the hard stuff is done and I can relax and pick away at the unpacking.

There was an unfortunate incident with one of the rooms. After much discussion with my mother, I decided on a very pretty, very pale lilac for one of the bedrooms. The paint, in theory, was very nice. On the walls, a whole other story. It looked like you were inside a giant easter egg! It was a horrible, horrible, bright lilacy purple. I ran back to the paint store and begged the paint guy to make it not be purple anymore. Make it another colour, preferable grey. So the room now looks much better, a pretty purpley grey that does not make me want to beat my head against the wall until I cannot see the walls any more.

Desoto is adjusting, very slowly, to his new home. He misses my parents, and hates being by himself. Mom stopped by to visit him on Monday, and when she was leaving, he cried and wanted to go with her. It is unfortunate that I am not independantly wealthy and cannot afford to stay home all the time and play with my dog, but instead have to go to work to make enough money to pay for all the food he eats!

So far, I have to say, except for the sickness its been very cool waking up in my house that I own.

I knew I wasn't paranoid!

I saw this article about a 6-foot African rock python appearing in a St. Petersburg toilet and almost had a heart attack. I knew I wasn't crazy all those times I couldn't sit on the toilet without looking in it first, scared that something was going to bite me!

Ebay Freak

Ok, I love Ebay - I will freely admit that. I may, in fact, be slightly addicted. But I like to think that I would never get this carried away! Seriously! People are wierd. What if somebody names them, I don't know, Frodo and Placenta? If I found out that my Mom let somebody else pick my name, and I ended up with some freaked out name, I would be pissed. Although, if I was a boy, my mom was going to name me Michaelangelo Farmer.

Paint, Paint, Paint

I am starting to get tired of painting. And I like painting. I have made a lot of progress, but yesterday was frustrating. I wanted to finish the bathroom, but about halfway through, I ran out of paint. then I wanted to finish the second bedroom, but I ran out of paint. So, in frustration, I gave up and went home, only to find my mother, frustrated also after painting her house all day. My family has painting fever.

All my stuff is getting moved in on Saturday, after baing in storage for a year. MY STUFF! I love my stuff! I have missed my stuff! I forget what I own. I can't wait to unpack and see everything - it will be like Christmas. And my clothes - I can't wait to get everything out of boxes and hang stuff up. I will have different clothes to wear, at least until my sister comes to visit and steals all the stuff I like. Jen, I think we will have to instutite a new rule - for everything that you take, you have to give back something that you took previously.

I am having my cable hooked up next week. I am excited. I ordered the movie channels, so I fully expect to become a total couch potato, sitting around watching all the movies that I never got to the theater to see - which is a lot.

This will be a good week, once I finish paining - there will be cable and clothes and stuff! Woo Hoo!

Travel Bug

I was driving to work this morning when I was overcome with an intense, overwhelming longing to be somewhere else. Somewhere far away. About to have an adventure. Now this may be a reaction to all this house buying business and to the fact that I won't be taking my planned trip to Mexico this spring, opting instead to go to Montreal to attend one of my cousin's weddings. I don't know, but I just wanted to be anywhere but here. I love to travel. I am lucky to have a good friend who also likes to travel and together we go lots of fun places. We usually always rent a car to get around, because I love the freedom of being able to go anywhere we want to go without having to depend on public transportation in a foreign country. And we are both pretty good drivers, even the one with the lead foot, and have never had a problem getting around. Getting lost does not count as a problem, with the two of us, it is an inevitable part of the journey. We get lost all the time. Occasionally we have a fight about each other's poor navigational skills or inability to follow / give simple directions, but it doesn't take us too long to get back on track.

The first time we rented a car on our travels was in Ireland. Christine had looked after the ticket and renting the car and all those details, and so we had no problems at all, except when we got to the car and realized that we each expected the other to drive. We had a big fight about it in the parking lot.

"I am not driving, I have never driven on the left before"
"Well, I am not driving, I can't drive a standard"
"I am not driving"
"I am not driving"
"Well, I am not driving"
"Well, I am not driving either"

And so it continued, until I, in an inspired move to end the arguement once and for all in my favor, stomped around to the passenger seat, got in the car, and slammed the door, thinking "so there" because if she had to get in the drivers side, she would have to drive.

In the UK, the passenger seat is on the left. In Canada, the passenger seat is on the right. I got in the right side of the car, the driver's seat, thus losing by default.

Happily, I now have no fear of driving on either side and really enjoy the much higher speed limits in other countries. Although it does take me a while to re-adjust (slow down) when I get back home. I think that is what I was thinking about when I was driving to work - wouldn't it be great if I was driving somewhere totally new, about to have an adventure, not just to my boring job.

And now for something completely different

I could not sleep last night. Probably from all the house excitement. I had been down in the basement looking through some old boxes that I have stored down there, and I came across one of my old english poetry textbooks. I decided to read through it, in the hopes that it would make me sleepy, and I found that it contained 2 of my favorite poems. So I thought today that I would post them here, just for a change.

Ozymandias

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed,
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Percy Bysshe Shelley
1792-18


Funeral Blues (this is from the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral, in case you think it sounds familiar but can't quite place it)

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W. H. Auden

This is my house. It is green. I also have a giant barn in the back yard. 

I OWN A HOUSE! 

Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day, everybody.

You know the best thing about Valentines Day? All the candy goes on sale tomorrow!

One more day until I OWN A HOUSE!

Grown Up

I got house insurance today. God, I am such a grown-up. I don't think I like it.

Secrets

I just found this website. It is called Post Secret and people write secrets on postcards and send them in. Some of the secrets were pretty amazing. Does anyone have a secret they would like to share? I dare you.

You know you are an extreme fan when...

you cut off your balls to celebrate your team winning! This guy must have been pretty darn drunk, or mentally ill, because if he wasn't, that is just stupid. Well, it's still really stupid, but at least he won't father any kids who will then grow up to be this dumb.

Starbucks

Did you know that Starbucks makes COFFEE LIQUOR?
AND ICE CREAM?
All of my favorite things, all together!
Somebody find me some!

Dumbass

Recently here in Charlottetown, a cop was fired because he stole (from the police station) counterfeit money that had been seized by the police, and spent it. This is so stupid, it boggles the mind. Why would he try to spend it all at once? Why wouldn't he spend a little at a time, so if someone caught it, he could pass it off as a mistake? Did he not think that if a lot of fake money was missing from the police station, a cop would be one of the first suspects? It's a shame that I am not a criminal, because I am sure I couldn't do any worse than this guy. He threw away a whole career for less than $500.

Oh, and our police force only has one guy who is able to charge people for driving under the influence of drugs. So all you guys who are too nervous to drink and drive should get all loaded up on OxyContin and tear down the road. It doesn't really matter if they catch you because unless that one guy is working, they can't do anything to you. If you weren't scared about Island drivers before, you should be now!

6 more days until I am a home owner!

Some funny stuff

These are two things that are making me laugh today:

This is a link to Patches the horse. He is pretty talented, but you can tell that these two men are batchelors, because what woman would let this horse in her house all the time?

This is a link to Einstein the parrot. Einstein is the same kind of parrot as Vern, my sister-in-law's parrot, although Vern's act needs a little work compared to this one.

BIRTHDAY!

It's Jennifer's birthday today! This is her email - mccalla@platinum.ca - you should wish her a happy birthday. And send her expensive presents. Or money.

I have a headache

I have a really big headache that does not want to go away. I stayed home from work yesterday because the headache does not like things like light, sound or movement and in response to any of these things it brings out the intense pain, blindness and vomiting. So I stayed in my bed, with the blinds closed and the lights off and prayed for death. Unfortunately, Desoto thought this meant that I stayed home to entertain him and proceeded to drive me insane for the whole day. I love my dog, but when he is bored and wants to play and stands on me while I am in pain, he is not so cute. So every hour or so, I would make him go outside so I could get some sleep but then he would stand on the doorstep and cry so loud, I could hear him from my bed and then I would go downstairs and let him in, so he could stand on me and drive me nuts again. Repeat 10 times.

So today, even though my head still hurts (although its much better) I though coming to work would be slightly more restful than staying home with the dog. It was, although not very productive. I always feel slightly brain damaged after I have a really bad migraine, like all the parts of my brain aren't quite working again. So, I didn't get anything really difficult done today, I'll save the hard stuff for a day when all cylinders are firing.

Now I am going to babysit my little cousin Garrett. He is about 15 months old and so sweet. Since my nephews are so far away, I love having my baby time with Garrett - he is almost as cute as my gorgeous boys.

Jen left? What do you mean Jen left? Where did she go? But I love her! She better come back soon or I am going to get mad!

Jen and Desoto playing in the snow. 

This picture is from Christmas in Turner Valley - it is Jen's dog Kash saying hello to Alex's parrot Vern. 

There's a tear in my beer

My sister, Jennifer, left today to go back to Turner Valley and I am sad. Desoto and I are sulking because we miss her already and she has only been gone for 6 hours. She doesn't come back until June. This sucks. Time to move home, Jen. You can live with me in my new house!

This post is about Liane

This post is about my friend Liane, who feels she is being neglected by not getting enough mentions on my blog lately. Liane has been my friend since 5th grade, when she moved in down the street and we bonded over Charlie's Angels. We did everything and went everywhere together after that. She has a great husband who picks on me, and 3 brillant children who refuse to stop growing, and now 2 of the 3 are taller than me. What did they used to say would stunt your growth when we were kids? Coffee? Anyway, she is one of the kindest, smartest, coolest women that I know, although she does have a weakness for Clay Aiken that I just don't understand. We hate the same people, for all the same reasons, have the same addictions to television, Sironella, and Starbucks, and are obsessed with our hair, although she changes hers all the time and I don't. I make her take yoga and she makes me learn to curl. We used to make each other go to the gym, and soon we will again. She will tell me honestly if I look good in something and I will tell her that I love when her hair is short and red, although I like the blond too. We can not see each other for weeks due to our crazy schedules and pick up the conversation like it was five minutes ago. We know each other's embarassing secrets, like the time we got drunk and made our poor friend Paul listen to us make all the beer slosh around in our bellies. Seriously, it sounded pretty cool. Shut up, it did.

She will listen to me obsess about myself and my dramas, real or imagined, and only after several hours (days) of my whining will she mention that she didn't have the greatest week. I spill everything I am thinking and feeling, she holds mostly everything in. She goes back to school and makes 99 in everthing, I go back to school and spend my time getting crushes on boys. She has a great family and I have a dog. I love to travel and have adventures, she loves to be home with her kids. She is neat and organized to the point of compulsiveness (lines on the carpet) while I am very untidy (she likes to say that her messy daughter takes after me). She has been happily married since the age of 19, I avoid long-term committement like the plague. She is a good cook, I think popcorn and an apple make a great supper. She is crafty, I made a pot holder in Brownies once. We are exactly the same and we are completely different. I like to think that we complement each other nicely.

Colour Blind

I have a new hobby. The new hobby does not replace the old hobby of surfing from blog to blog on the internet, reading all about people I don't know, while trying to kill as much time as possible so as to avoid doing anything constructive (not that I do this at work or anything, that would be wrong). Oh no, the new hobby is in addition to the old hobby. I should have majored in time-wasting instead of public drunkenness in university. The new hobby is paint. I go to different paint websites and pick out paint colours for MY NEW HOUSE. That I officially become the owner of on February 15. I pick out colours that I think would look lovely in MY NEW HOUSE. That I officially own in 19 days. Currently the entire upstairs of my new house is beige. I don't like beige. I am more of a green, blue, grey person than a beige person. I would actually rather white than beige. So I am trying to pick out paint colours. Oh, and I don't like pink. My parents have a room the colour of Barney, of which I am also not a fan.

My dining room is currently yellow, and I am trying to decide if I should leave it that way. The living room and hallway are grey, which is ok, maybe a little dark, but not bad. I am painting the kitchen navy blue, because I saw a navy blue room one time and always promised myself that I would have a room painted just like it. Dark navy and white - so pretty.

I cannot believe that I own a house. And I get to paint it whatever colours I want.

Over it

I am so tired of snow! When is summer?

Now I've done it

That's right, I did it! (no, not that, get your mind out of the gutter) I am buying a house. Back in November, I put an offer on a house and then had a huge panic attack about it and backed out. I really liked the house, I could see myself and Desoto living there, but obviously had some committment issues to work out. The house went off the market and I decided to put off looking for a house until after I came home from Alberta. I had found a cute little house and put an offer in (they accepted another offer that came in just before mine), and just happened to drive by the original house that I liked. Well, the for sale sign was back up so I took this as a sign that this house was meant to be mine and I am buying it. I just signed the Agreement of Purchase and Sale, and conditional upon a house inspection, I am going to be a home owner. Um, excuse me (runs to bathroom to throw up, again). The closing date is February 15th! In a month from tomorrow, I will be living in my very own house (puts head between knees to keep from fainting, again)!

The thought of having all my own stuff around me is very exciting. Everything I own has been in storage since last year and I miss my stuff. I have a lot of stuff. I inherited my mother's inability to throw anything away.

Now, I get to do lots of shopping for all the stuff I need. Yay, shopping. And I also get to throw a big house-warming party. Consider yourself invited.

Things I screamed at the television during Lost tonight

"Yay, Lost"
"Yay, Sawyer. Oh, not naked, shit."
"Yay, Hurley."
"Gross, Hurley."
"Skank"
"Holy shit!"
"DUDE! That is your sister! Gross"
"OH, cold."
"Is this a dream? This is a dream. This better be a dream. Is it a dream?"
"Holy fuck! Holy fuck!"
"DEAD? Is she dead?"
"WHAT? WHAT!"
"Holy fuck!"
"Free, free, you felt free!"
"No, no, no, no, no. Don't be over. Shit."

I forgot to tell you that my ass fell asleep

I forgot to mention that while I was in Turner Valley, my brother and I watched Napoleon Dynamite. I had seen an ad for it and it looked really funny. It was the most boring movie I have ever seen. I usually like kind of quirky, low budget, off-beat movies so I was ready to enjoy this one, but after what seemed like a hundred hours of watching, and after my arm, foot and ass all went to sleep, I gave up. I just read a post on someone's blog about how they watched it over the holidays and it was now their group of friends' new favorite movie and they were all going around quoting it and laughing hysterically. WHAT? HOW? WHAT DID I MISS? Sometime between my foot and ass going to sleep, I seem to have missed all the funny parts of the movie because all I can remember is the mind-numbing, unrelenting boredom. In my own defense, I asked Mike if he had watched the rest of the movie, and he replied, "Fuck no. I went to sleep. That was a shitty movie." Maybe the Farmers just don't get subtle humour.

Movie Night

I have actually gone out to the theatre and seen a couple of movies lately as well as renting a bunch while in Turner Valley (TV with no tv) and I thought I would pass along my thoughts on them.

Alexander - quite possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Oliver Stone has been all over the press lately talking about how gay people say his movie is not gay enough, and straight people say it is too gay. Well, I am saying, gay or not, that is not the reason thIS movie SUCKED. I was really excited to see it because I am a history freak and love the story of Alexander the Great. Not to mention the fact that there is all that gorgeousness - Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto, Val Kilmer to add a little wierdness, so I was totally prepared to love this move. Holy crap, what a 3 hour pile of shit. Overlooking the fact that a whole bunch of his Greek/Macedonian troop has scottish/irish/english accents, the out of focus camera work, the war scenes that only showed swirling dust, the whole half-hour long bit where everything was pink, the dialogue was stupid, Rosario Dawson cannot do an accent to save her life, although her grunting was okay, the storyline was confusing with unnecessary flashbacks and a whole mother/son strange vibe that didn't really do anything, just one long, bad, waste of time.

The Aviator - really, really good movie. I loved it, although some of Howard Hughes OCD moments hit a little too close to home. I think Leonardo di Caprio deserves to be nominated for an oscar for this one. I loved Cate Blanchett as Katherine Hepburn, which surprised me since I was prepared to hate her. At first she seems a little over the top, but she does a great job. Kate Beckinsale didn't suck either, which is always a surprise to me, since she is not one of my favorites. Alex Baldwin is very good, and John C Reilly is always terrific in his roles. I really enjoyed this movie.

Spanglish - another very good movie. I am not usually an Adam Sandler fan (unlike my sister) but he does a really good job in this movie. He has a couple of screamy moments that I thought he could have toned down, but he is still excellent. Tea Leoni is always good and funny - she does such a great job of playing a high-strung neurotic, and that woman is in some shape. It almost made me want to excerise more. But then I ate more popcorn. Paz Vega (I think that is her name) is excellent as well and very beautiful. Kind of like Penelope Cruz, but better. Cloris Leachman is very funny and the two girls who play the daughters are excellent. I would be an Adam Sandler fan if he made more movies like this.

The Terminal - a pretty good film. I was fully prepared to hate this movie and be bored, but it is surprisingly catchy. I don't like Catherine Zeta Jones, but she is pretty lowkey and good. I do like Tom Hanks, but hate actors doing accents, but he is always convincing. A fairly contrived story, but sucks you in a little bit.

Collateral - another movie that I liked a lot. I love Tom Cruise and I really like when he is being a little dark and not all SuperTom Cruise the movie star. Jamie Foxx is really good as well. I didn't really know this actor from any of his movies, but after hearing all his buzz for Ray, thought he must be pretty good. Jada Pinkett Smith was ggod as well in a small role that could have been played well by almost anyone.

Van Helsing - horrible, horrible. Don't waste your time. Kate Beckinsale doing some kind of stupid accent, in a leather outfit, and Hugh Jackman being all quippy and heroic. Dumb and boring.

king Arthur - pretty good, considering. Clive Owen is hot. Kiera Knightly is fairly inoffensive. Lots of fighting and arrow shooting. Worth renting, I think, although I am a sucker for historical movies.

Wimbledon - not great but not too horrible. I watched this on the plane because I finished my book. I like that they showed a lot of tennis. I like that they made Kirsten Dunst kind of skanky. It could have ended about a half hour before it did, and the plot held no surprises, and I don't really find Paul Bettany very attractive.

Those are my thoughts.

My baby

I just got an updated website from the breeder, Paula Grant, who sold me my baby Desoto. Guess who's picture is on the front page? That's right, Desoto! He is soooo good looking! Go here and look at his picture so you can see how gorgeous he is.

Home again

So I am back home after my holidays in Alberta. It was really hard to leave my nephews, they are so adorable and sweet, and my brother and sister-in-law, who fed us and let us take over their house. And let me stay at night and watch tv while they went to bed. It wasn't that hard to leave my sister because she is coming home tomorrow for 3 weeks! I have to say that my sister and her boyfriend Andy were great hosts, putting up with my bossy, big-sister ways and my spoiling of their puppy very well. Thanks guys. If I ever have a house, you can come and stay with me anytime.

My puppy was very happy to have me back home, although when he smelled Jen's dog on my clothes, he had a bit of a snit and proceeded to give me the guilt look for about an hour. But then we went for a walk and all was forgiven. Thanks Christine for checking on him and making me worry less.

So its back into the old routine now that I am back home and back at work.