Wing Night at the Bowling Alley

So it is almost midnight and I have just arrived home (to my sister's house) after my first wing night at the Bowling Alley. The Bowling Alley is not actually a bowling alley, but a bar. And they have great chicken wings. On Wednesday night, they don't serve anything but $.25 chicken wings and $1.00 draught (any typing mistakes can be blamed on the beer). My whole family went. My Mom drank beer. And ate chicken wings. I don't recall ever seeing my Mom eat chicken wings. Or drink beer. It was great. Everyone in Turner Valley met me and my whole family and we met all of Turner Valley. I am pretty sure that they love us. Well, me anyway.

We all picked on Andy (my sister's boyfriend) because he has not yet married my sister. Which may yet be in the works, but after tonight, he may be rethinking the whole deal. The Farmers, en masse, are a lot to take, and he hasn't even been to PEI to meet the rest of the relatives. We also found out that Alex (my sister-in-law) stabbed her brother Roy once, sending him to the hospital for stitches. My mother is currently suing for custody of her grandsons. My brother is confident that she won't stab him. I am not so sure.

I have to get up early tomorrow to drive to Banff with my parents. I am making my sister come too, since I shouldn't have to endure that by myself. I am hoping that I get to drive, because you can drive really fast here. I love Alberta highways, all the multiple lanes and 110km speed limits. Plus they have a Lush store in Banff. Have I mentioned that the shopping in Alberta is so much better that at home? Jen and I went shopping in Holt Renfrew (fancy smancy) today. And spent a ton of money. And they have Ikea here too. I will be coming back from Calgary considerably poorer than when I arrived.

Oh, my lost luggage (those Air Canada bastards) arrived on Christmas Eve, so I didn't have to go buy new presents for everyone. Which just meant more shopping for me.

57cm of snow in Charlottetown? That is just terrible. It has been just beautiful here in the west. Too bad for you guys.

Air Chaos

So I have arrived in Turner Valley after many, many trials and tribulations. The flight left Charlottetown on time and with no difficulty, which is a minor miracle in itself, and I had hopes that this would be the one time that a member of my family would fly between Charlottetown and Calgary with no problems. Not likely. The Farmers are just not meant to fly this route, which is unfortunate, since someone is flying this way every second month or so. We landed in Montreal slightly behind schedule and I was told that I had a very tight connection and should go fast to the other gate, but that the staff knew I was coming and there should be no problem. There wasn't a problem because the flight I was catching had not even arrived yet, so I had lots of time. I had to wait about an hour, not a problem, but then, once we boarded the plane, we sat on the plane at the gate for another two hours. Then, when we finally took off, strong headwinds delayed us even longer. My poor family had been waiting in the airport for about 3.5 hours when I finally arrived. Then we had to wait ANOTHER HOUR for the luggage.

Now I left home with 2 suitcases and a carry-on full of presents. One suitcase was filled with my presents and my clothes and toiletries. The other suitcase was filled with stuff that my mother couldn't fit into her luggage, along with my sneakers and slippers and my gympants. Guess which suitcase they lost. That's right, the one with all my stuff. As of 6:00 on today (Thursday), no suitcase. So, not only was the plane really late, but they lost my stuff. I hate Air Canada. They are out to get me.

When I fly, I am not very social at all. I have 2 or 3 books (depending on the lenght of the flight) and my walkman, and I tend to just ignore the people I am sitting with and read my book. This time, I was sitting next to a really interesting guy, Lawrence, and we talked the entire flight, plus the 4 hour delay. I now know all about his fiance, her horrible mother, how to make polenta, how he flys every 2 weeks between Calgary and Bathurst, his golf game and his views on voting. He knows all about my family, how Air Canada hates me, and my friend Liane's advice on dating (only date men with dead mothers), the fact that I can't cook, and my views on voting. So, thank you Lawrence. You made the very long flight much more bearable. And he even offered to share his dessert with me. Nice guy.

Hopefully, the next time I post, I will have my luggage and I won't be wearing my sister's clothes, and I will have christmas presents to give to my family. Or else that Air Confusion has given me lots of money to buy new stuff.

Wierd Christmas

I am leaving right now to go to Calgary for Christmas. My brother, his wife, their 2 kids, my sister and her boyfriend live there, and my parents are already there, so we are all going to spend our first christmas all together. Its going to be strange not being in PEI with all my friends and relatives, but it will be so much fun with my nephews. They are ages 2 1/2 and 1, so watching them will be wonderful.

I hope you all have a great christmas wherever you are and that you are with the people that love you.

My ears, my ears!

Can I tell you a secret? Well, if you know me, it's not really a secret, but I'll tell you anyway. I hate christmas music. I really, really hate it. And I really, really hate that you can't go to the mall without each and every store playing a different rock/pop/rap/country/crap artist's version of a christmas song. Just because you are a singer does not mean you have to put out a christmas album. Really, it doesn't. The world does not need another christmas album. Everyone in the world has a christmas album. I bet if I looked hard enough, I could find a tape recorded version of myself singing christmas songs, but you don't hear me inflicting it on the public.

I don't want to hear the rap version of O Holy Night. I don't want to hear the country version of Up on a Rooftop. I don't want to hear Rita MacNeil sing anything, christmas or not. And if I hear that crazy-ass Mariah screech her way through one more christmas song, I will lose my mind.

Please don't eat the baby, Desoto

My cousin and her three week old daughter moved in to my parents house yesterday. She is going to be staying there to babysit the house and the dog and the cat. I was a little nervous about the dog - not that he is mean or anything, he isn't, he is the sweetest dog, but the baby is so small and the dog is so big. The baby is not quite as big as Desoto's head! And Desoto has never been around a baby before, and he has to smell everything, so I had visions of him trying to smell the baby and drowning her in a big puddle of drool.

After a big "woof" at Suzanne when she walked in the door, scaring everyone, he settled right down and didn't really take a lot of interest in the baby. He looks at her when she cries with the funniest look , as if to say "What's up with all the noise," but other than that, he hasn't drooled on her too much or eaten her or anything. Good dog.

Can this count?

Can this post count as my christmas card to anyone who is reading this? I have an inablility to send out christmas cards. Every year I buy them, really pretty ones with angels and snowmen and every year they go back in the box of christmas supplies, unopened and unsent. For some reason, I cannot send out christmas cards. I think about it, sometimes I even buy stamps, but I never send them out to anyone. Occasionally, I will remember to put a couple with presents, but not very often. So everyone, Merry Christmas.

Exciting news - I left my house over the weekend. I went out to celebrate my friend Andrea's 40th birthday. It was a surprise party and she was totally surprised, mostly thanks to Scott's excellent lying ability. I, however, didn't get to actually see her surprise as I was standing in line at Shoppers for 25 minutes. Apparently it was train the idiot night there and the idiots were having a hard time grasping such difficult concepts as how to work a cash register, debit machine, lotto maching and how to count money and give correct change. I was restrained though, confining myself to heavy sighs and eye-rolling and not yelling, unlike the poor man in front of me who got the wrong lotto tickets three times and then got overcharged. He kind of yelled.

Once I got to the surprise party, it was great fun. We ate lots of munchies and drank lots of drinks and had the best server, April. Then we went to a bar. I am too old to go to bars, evidenced by the fact that I turned into my mother while looking at some of the clothing choices made by the girls at the bar.

"Oh, my god! That is the shortest skirt I have ever seen."

"I don't understand, is her shirt supposed to look like that?"

"Ok, a bra would be good, dear. Really. Please."

I love seeing the clothing choices that people make, but I really have to wonder - do some of these people not own mirrors? Do they not have friends that love them? Because how they can leave their house dressed like that? Don't they know how bad they look? Don't they care? Don't their friends care? Beer goggles are wonderous things, I guess.

Anyway, the bar was (sort of) fun. There was drinking and dancing but no grilled cheese sandwich at the chinese food place.

Therapist

It seems like forever since I have posted. Between the sick and the work and the possessed computer I haven't had either the time or the energy to post. But I am back and moderately healthy now.

Desoto had his first day at work this week. That's right, I have put him to work. He is a therapy dog at a hospital here that deals mostly with mental patients, with physical or emotional problems (I have to stop calling them the crazy people at the looney bin, since my mom used to work there, this offends her and since I stand a good chance of being there myself some days, I guess it's not so funny).

Desoto goes around to the different wards and interacts with the patients. By interacts with, I mean he smells them and gets drool on their legs while they pat him, then he lies on the floor. He has a bandana and a volunteer name tag with his name on it. Some of the patients that we saw were very nervous because he is kind of scary looking, but others had no fear at all and wanted to pat and hug him. He was a little overwhelmed since this was his first day, and he got a little nervous when lots of people crowded around him but he did very well and he was a big hit with the patients and staff, except for one man who was convinced that Desoto was going to eat him and one woman who was scared that he would chase her (invisible)kitty. So we will be going to the hospital once or twice a week so the patients can play with him. The other therapy dog is a little Shiz Tzu who can sit on people's laps, so there is quite a contrast.

Desoto has a new game now where he tries to be very fierce and growls and bares his teeth and pretends to bite me, then at the last second, licks me instead that I am really hoping he doesn't try to play at the hospital. That might just send someone right over the edge.

Symphony

The cold from hell is back and I am once again serenading my co-workers with my symphony of nose-blowing, sneezing and coughing. They are very happy that I am here at work today, wouldn't you be? I am getting a little tired of this. Did you ever see the kleenex commercial where the little boy says, "I sneezed so much I think my nose is broke." That's exactly how I feel. My nose is broke. Two months of this cold/sinus infection/strep throat/bronchitis/whatever is quite long enough. It's someone else's turn now.

On a happier note, except for my father's present, I am done, done, done with the christmas shopping. Except I have a little problem of seeing really cute things that I know would be just perfect for someone, and I think I must buy it, so I do, completely forgetting that I already bought their present online two weeks ago. So good news for all the people on my present list - you may very well get 2 or 3 presents instead of one, since I apparently cannot remember that I already bought you something. Oh well, they can always be presents for me!

Still no ideas on a present for Dad - you guys are no help.

Christine - are you still alive? Answer your email!

I WANT THIS

I was shopping online today, like I do every day, because I am an addict, and I found this which is the coolest thing ever! It's one of those little round vaccuums that go by themselves. Not only does it go by itself, when it needs to recharge, it just takes itself right over and plugs itself in. HOW COOL IS THAT! While I already have the world's most expensive vaccuum cleaner (thanks Jen),I want one of these for Christmas. Since I got Desoto, I vaccuum constantly because he leaves a trail of dog hair everywhere he goes. Somebody buy it for me, ok?

Saving Private Television

I was reading about some American television stations decisions not to broadcast Saving Private Ryan because of possible repercussions from the FCC, and I was thinking that as a society, we have become unable to police ourselves. Instead of deciding not to watch something that might be upsetting or disturbing (which I think was the point of the movie, war is not pretty or fun), or parents restricting what their children are allowed to watch on tv, they would rather let a government agency decide for them what is allowable viewing. Then I came across this article which says exactly what I was thinking.

If anyone has some good Christmas present ideas for my father, let me know, because he is so hard to buy for. Every year, I buy him clothes and, believe me, nobody is less interested in clothes than my father. Except maybe my brother. Help.

The internet is evil

I am so addicted to the internet. I am really addicted to shopping on the internet. Its just so easy - you can sit at your desk and with just a few clicks, have anything you want. But the best/worst part is that if you are just typing in numbers, it dosn't seem like you are really spending money.

I used to be really addicted to Ebay. I bought everything kind of thing you can imagine off Ebay. Then I discovered selling things on Ebay and that is just as cool. I used to manage a couple of clothing stores, and because I have an addictive personality, bought a lot of clothes. A LOT. So many clothes, in a variety of sizes from fat to fairly skinny, that many of them had never been worn. So I sold a lot of them on Ebay and made (almost) enough money to pay for all the things that I bought on Ebay. I finally had to cut myself off from Ebay before I went broke and had no clothes left to wear. I still miss Ebay, and from time to time, I take a look at all the thngs that I don't really need but are so cool. I need an AA for Ebay.

So now that I am not allowed to be on Ebay anymore, I have started to shop in actual on-line stores, for things like books and make-up. I love how you just click on what you want and it arrives at your door in a couple of days. I love it so much that I have done most of my Christmas shopping already. And I am havng it all shipped to my sister's house (Jen, don't open anything! It might be for you!) so that when I go to Turner Valley for Christmas, I don't have to worry about packing any presents - they will all be there waiting for me. I am a genius.

My only fear is that I am going to get too addicted to this kind of shopping too, and pretty soon I won't be able to do anything on my computer except actual work. That would suck.

Desoto loves the snow. 

It snowed today, so Desoto and I went out to play. 

He's Guilty!

The jury has come back with a GUILTY VERDICT for Scott Peterson, thus restoring some of my faith in the judgement of the american people. I had been worried, what with 3 jurors being dismissed and the jury's seeming inability to come to an agreement. But they did it and found him guilty of first-degree murder in the death of his pregnant wife Laci and second-degree murder in the death of their unborn son Connor. The possible sentances are death or life in prison without parole. I hope he rots.

Check this out

My sister now has a blog - go and read it, she's pretty funny.
Jen's Blog

Disaster has struck

Yesterday my electric blanket died. It just died and nothing I have tried will make it work again. I am unable to sleep without my electric blanket. I am in deep mourning and to make it worse, all the stores are closed for Rememberance Day and I cannot buy a new one until tomorrow!

My parents house where I grew up is very drafty. It also has electric heat and no furnace, and as a result it is always cold. Good in the summer but when you live in a province that has 8 months of cold weather, not so good. When I was a kid and it was bedtime, my room was always cold, so I would turn on the heat, but as I have never been a fan of delayed gratification, I would turn the heat up really, really high so as to get the room as warm as possible as soon as possible. Then I would go to bed, usually waking up in the middle of the night sweating my ass off. Then, in my own twisted logic, I would reason that it was easier to open the window than get up and turn off the heat. So, the heater would be blasting away at about 80 degrees, with the window wide open, and I would almost always forget to either shut off the heat, or close the window when I left for school. Inevitably, either my mother of father would go in my room for something and freak out and I would get in trouble. This went for several years until one day, in desperation, and after thousands of dollars in heating bills, my father literally pried the thermostat off the wall in my bedroom (he has since replaced it), and so that I wouldn't freeze to death, bought me an electric blanket.

Thus, my love affair with the electric blanket was born. I use it every night in the winter, every single night. My room is always freezing, actually the window is open all year round, except if there is a blizzard and snow blows in. I can't sleep if the room is too warm, I like it best when its chilly, but I am always toasty warm under my piece of electric heaven. Until yesterday, when it died. And now I can't sleep. You would think that a 151lb dog , who has now come to believe that the bed is his by divine right, would give off a little heat, but no, not even a little. Last night, I even tried to revert to my old ways, turning the heat in the room way up, but it didn't work. No warm bed. No sleep. I hope they sell electric blankets at Wal-Mart, because I will be there when they open the doors.

On an unrelated note, Lost last night made me very, very happy with the naked Sawyer. I love this show so very much already and then they throw in naked Sawyer, thank you Lost, thank you.

Seasonal Depression

My birthday is over and I am sinking into my annual depression. It always happens after my birthday when it starts to get cold and usually lasts until the spring when the weather gets warmer and we have more than 8 hours of daylight. I am really not a cold weather type of girl. I try, I really do. I ski ocasionally and I try to snowboard, but my heart is just not in it. All winter, I long for the sun, the beach and my kayak. I want to be able to not wear a coat to go outside. Or take my dog for a walk and not wear 5 layers of clothing, plus hat and scarf and gloves.

It snowed yesterday. Now the snow didn't last and it has already snowed a bunch of times in Alberta, so I guess we are not suffering all that much here in PEI, but man, I hate winter.

How many months until spring?

Update

I promise that I am going to stop obsessing about the election soon, but just thought I would point out this interesting article about possible ramifications for Canada.

The update is about the house situation. I had made an offer on a house, and then found one that I liked better, so when they came back with a counter-offer, I rejected it and then made an offer on the second house. They came back with a counter-offer and as I was about to accept, I had a panic attack. A full-fledged, heart pounding, hyper-ventilating, I am going to die panic attack at the thought of going through with the deal. So I rejected the counter offer. I am not really sure why I freaked out so much, I thought that I had all this worked out in my head, but obviously not. My poor realtor thinks I am a loon. So I have decided to put off the house buying until after Christmas, when I get back from Alberta, and I have had time to calm down (and perhaps get a little therapy). Hopefully by then I will be so desperate to not be staying with my mother that the thought of having a hundred thousand dollar mortgage will not even bother me and I will be singing and dancing while signing the papers. We shall see.

Hurry up and be born Grace Michaela so that we can have the same birthday.

It's my birthday

It's my birthday today. I love my birthday. I love it so much that right now I am doing a little birthday dance around my cubicle. It's the one day of the year that is all about me. Well, me and the 5 other people I know who also have birthdays today. But enough about them, today it's me, me, me, all the live long day.

It is cold and rainy/snowy and windy today. That sucks. I would really like for the sun to come out and the wind to stop and the birds to sing and all that good stuff that should happen on my day.

I don't really have anything special planned for today. We had a nice party last night for my relatives from New Zealand, and as a surprise there was birthday cake and presents. So that was a nice treat. So today after work, I am going to the bookstore to buy myself a couple of books that I want, maybe a new cd, and then home for pizza and wine and more cake. I will probably just relax and go to bed early with my new books and maybe a couple of movies. Just a nice way to spend the day.

Tomorrow I am going to dinner with friends to celebrate a couple of birthdays, so that will be a fun, and probably fairly late evening. Sunday, I plan to lay around and watch movies, only stirring to take the dog for a nice, long walk, or maybe out to dinner at my favorite restaurant with a friend. Not especially exciting, but a nice relaxing birthday weekend.

I hope you all have a great my birthday.

Ways to make Angela's head explode

1. Be unable to proceed properly at a 4 way stop sign. It's not that difficult, jackass.

2. Drive very slowly and gawk around at everything except the road in front of you, leading to a line up of approximately 20 cars behind you, the drivers of which all hate your guts (Dad).

3. Come to a complete stop when making a right turn.

4. Give me the finger and continiously slam on the brakes because you think I am following you too closely. Yes, I was too close, but in my defense, the only way for me to not follow you that closely was to come to a complete stop since you were driving 10 KILOMETERS AN HOUR! ASSHOLE!

5. Go so slowly through the advance green arrow that only you and one other car have time to get through.

6. Not pulling out onto the road until there are absolutely no other cars coming in either direction, no matter how long you, or all the people behind you, have to sit there (Uncle Hal).

7. Throwing your cigarette butts out the car window.

8. Playing really loud rap music with your windows open and the bass turned way up. Yeah, welcome to the hood, loser.

9. You come to a complete stop in the merge lane until there are no cars coming. Look up MERGE in the dictionary before getting back into your car, please, idiot.

10. You start moving slowly forward through the red light as soon as the other light turns yellow. I hope that someone comes roaring through that yellow light and rips off the front of your car. I really do.

By the way, these things all happened either on my way home for lunch or on my way back to work, causing my head to explode in a paroxysm of rage.

Sabotage

Someone at work brought in leftover Tootsie Rolls. How am I supposed to stay away from the candy if there are Tootsie Rolls? I will soon have no teeth. Pretty.

Today will be almost as good as tomorrow

It is a little frightening how excited I am that The OC starts tonight. It really is sick that I seem to think I am a teenager with my twisted devotion to the fictional lives of rich high school students in California. That being said, I don't care. I love the kids, I love the clothes, I love the underaged drinking and the fighting and the sex. I want Seth Cohen to come and live at my house. Add this to my obsession to Lost and my fascination with Desperate Housewives, and I have totally given up on watching anything intelligent on television. Well, except the West Wing, but that seems a little tame with no scary monsters or housewife suicides. I have been sucked in. You should here me explaining to the dog that he cannot go outside until Lost is over because if I tear my gaze away for even one minute, I might miss something, so he might as well stop crying and watch the show. I don't even move or flip channels during commercials. Some days I really fear for my mental health.

The only problem with me camping in front of the tv with my popcorn and leftover halloween candy tonight is that we are having a big family party for relatives that are here from New Zealand. While I do like my family, I am trying to figure out a reason why I have to stay in my room, in front of the tv and not speak to anyone until the OC is over. That is probably not going to fly so I am going to have to tape and watch it later. It's just not going to be the same. Oh well, the sacrifices I make so that Christine and I will have places to stay when we go to New Zealand next year. (2 possibly 3 already Christine! And Alec has promised to take us sailing too. And I have a list of wineries.)

ONE MORE DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! And don't even bother asking how old I am - I will just lie.

Unhinged

Kerry has conceded. Fuck.

And on a just as depressing note, 11 states have legislated hatred.

Way to go guys.

And the winner is?

Dear America,

You suck. Really. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you insane? After four years of the incompetent bumbling of that jackass, you did not overwhelmingly vote him out. Oh no, you pretty much asked him back for four more years of war and pestilience. Don't you realize that he made up this war that your children are dying in? Don't you realize that because of him, every other country in the world hates your guts? And now they think you are stupid, too.

And all you people who got involved this year for the first time, listened to the issues and went out and voted - next time, seriously, stay the fuck home. You didn't help.

While there is still some hope left in Ohio, I am not optimistic. America, you have let me down. Don't you know that it's my birthday in two days? George Bush is not what I wanted as my present.

Yours truly,

Angela

PS I have never, in my life, been happier that I am a Canadian.

Explosion Imminent

If I don't stop eating leftover Halloween candy soon, I will blow up. Or my teeth will fall out.

I believe...

I believe and I have been thinking happy thoughts and sending out positive vibes to the voters in the US. I believe that Kerry can win! Whoo hoo!! No more George Bush. Come on US, you can do it.

When not sending out happy thoughts, I have been laughing my ass off at this website, which has Morman baby names that are so funny, there were literally tears running down my face. Which is actually not so good when you are supposed to be working. Hard to hide the tears when the boss walks by. Not to mock the Mormans, but really. In the interest of fairness and as not to pick on just the Mormans, here is another bad baby name website that doesn't specify what religion these dumbasses come from.

My cousin is having a baby girl on Friday, that's why I have been checking out baby names. "On Friday", you say, "Isn't there something else going on on Friday?" Why yes, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I love my birthday. Only 3 more days to go.

Desoto's head is made out of rock

As I was leaving my house at lunch time to come back to work, I bent down to get the end of Desoto's tether, just as he came charging up behind me. My face collided with his head so hard that it knocked us both down. I literally saw stars as I was lying on the ground trying not to throw up. Desoto didn't look visably injured, but now I have a bruise the size of a hand on my cheek. It bruised and swelled in about 5 minutes. Why does everything have to be on my face?

The woman who owned the house that I made an offer on came back with a counter offer, which I rejected and then I made an offer on the other house I saw that I liked better. So, I am off to meet with my banker to find out if they will give me enough money to buy this house. This whole house buying business is very stressful, but if everything goes well today, I might be a home owner soon. Or did I just jinx myself?

The only part of this whole process that I have enjoyed is going through the houses. I love seeing the choices that people make in decorating ideas, colours and furniture choices. I also enjoy making fun of them. Some people have very strange ideas about what colours look good together, or what colours to paint. I was in one house where every single wall in the entire house was covered in floral wallpaper. EVERY SINGLE ROOM was done in a different floral pattern. I had to go back to the house and take my mother with me because she didn't believe me that someone would do that. Another house had a bright orange dining room. Bright, pumpkin orange and then a dark green living room. Very strange. I have also seen some beautifully decorated homes that I wanted to take pictures of so that I could do my house the exact same.

That is one thing that I am looking forward to doing when I am finally settled somewhere - painting. I like painting, it relaxes me. And nothing makes a house feel cleaner and brighter than fresh paint. I already have colours picked out for some of the rooms. I can see in my head how its going to look when its all done, and so far it looks pretty good. Now, I just have to get it. Cross your fingers. Even my hysteria has calmed down somewhat since I switched to this house. That must be a sign that the other one wasn't the right one.

Official Birthday Countdown: 7 days until my birthday!

I can't believe I just did that

I made an offer on a house. Now I am freaking out. Holy crap, what if they actually accept it! Then I am going to have to buy this house. I am going to be in debt a lot of money. Being in debt doesn't really bother me, having accepted that it is they way I will likely spend most of my life, but being in debt for like a hundred thousand dollars makes me want to vomit. I have been sitting at my desk all day alternating between severe nausea and wanting to pass out. Oh My God, what have I done. What if this is not the right house for me? What if the right house is one I just haven't seen yet? What if this house is going to be nothing but a huge disasterous money pit? What if my neighbors suck? What if I won't be happy in this house? Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh.

Don't get me wrong, its a nice house. It has a nice kitchen with a skylight - not that I actually cook or anything, but I go to the kitchen to use the coffee maker. It has a big, fenced in yard for the dog to play in, it's close to my work so that I can walk there and come home for lunch, it has hardwood floors and 2 bathrooms. There is nothing wrong with this house, well except the roof - that needs to be fixed, but I know that already. The house is fine, its me that has the problems.

I just don't know if I am prepared for this. I have always liked the illusion that I could pick up and take off at a moments notice. Not that I would, in reality. I have a decent job, I have bills to pay and a dog. Realistically, it is past time for me to settle into my own place, stop moving around so much and basically act my age. Crap, I really miss my twenties when I could act like a child and be irresponsible. Being in your thirties SUCKS! I don't want to buy a house.

I kind of do want to buy a house. I really want to live somewhere with my own furniture and my own dishes and my own stuff. I want to lie on the couch all day on Sunday and watch tv if I want - not that I can because the dog would get kind of upset if he didn't get to go for a walk. I want to leave clothes on the floor and books piled on every surface, just because I can if I feel like it and not feel like my stuff is in someone's way. I don't want to have to explain to someone that I am eating popcorn for supper again because I want to and no, I don't want you to cook something for me. I am tired of living with other people and just want to be alone. I want my own house, I just don't want the debt, responsibility or the restrictions that come with it.

After my realtor put in the offer, I had one other house that I had made an appointment to go and see, and I LIKE IT BETTER. Except that I am not sure that I really like it better or if I am just looking for an excuse to not buy this house. My god, by the time I do buy a house, I will be insane and won't be able to live there as I will be living in a padded cell.

I am in dire need of medication.

Official Birthday Countdown: 8 days until my birthday.

Maybe someone will give me a house.

American Pie

I am fascinated by politics. I think its becasue I come from a family that has always been involved in the political process and I grew up hearing,"If you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain," one of my father's favorite sayings. I especially love American politics. I love watching American elections, mainly for 2 reasons. One, American politics are so much more flamboyant than Canadian and two, because being Canadian, I am safely removed, so that if the wrong one wins, he is not going to be the leader of my country.

I am feverently hoping that John Kerry wins this election. I think that he will be the better president and I think that George Bush is a woman-hating war monger who couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight. I think that the whole Bush family needs to go back to Texas and stay there where they cannot do any more damage. Especially those twins, they get on my nerves.

But one thing about this election is really making me angry. There is so much focus on the war in Iraq and the war on terror, that so many important issues are being ignored. How can these politicans justify spending billions of dollars looking for non-exsistant weapons when there are millions of americans without basic health care? When millions of children live in poverty and go to bed hungry at night? When public schools don't have the money for the most basic arts and music programs because the government has cut their budgets to the bone? When laws that would protect our environment are not passed so that giant, billion dollar industries don't have to implement measures that might cost them a little bit of the huge profits they make every year? Why aren't these issues the most important ones in this election?

Two things about these elections that I do like - Jon Stewart and his commentaries, which I think are right on, and the Rock the Vote campaign. In this day and age, when more people watch Entertainment Tonight than the evening news, I like that celebrities are taking the time to record these PSA's encouraging people to get off their asses and vote. I am sure that I am not the only woman who would do pretty much anything that Benicio del Toro told me to do. Although having Paris Hilton encourage people to vote is a little disturbing since you know she doesn't have the first clue about the issues, or pretty much anything else.

So I will be watching the elections results next week, along with most of the world, hoping that the Democrats win and that Teresa Heinz is the next first lady - she's a hoot.

Official Birthday Countdown: 9 days until my birthday!

Colleen Jones will be calling me...

I learned to curl yesterday. And I didn't fall down, not even once.

My friend Liane decided that we were going to learn to curl (she has a bad habit of deciding that "we" are going to learn things) because her 3 kids curl and she spends hours in the curling rink anyway, so she might as well know what she is doing. They have a Newbie League on Sunday afternoons where they teach you the basics. I was a little apprehensive since the closest I have come to curling is watching the Briar on tv and changing the channel because it was boring. It is a lot harder than it looks on tv. And how do the women curl in those little pleated skirts?

You have to have good balance - which I do not. I can't even stand on one foot without falling over (this is not an exageration, I actually cannot do this). And you need to have a light grip on the rock, which I can't seem to do. I have a death grip on the rock which means sometimes I can't get my hand off fast enough and the rock moves about 3 feet. Apparently using the rock to hold yourself up is not it's purpose. Who knew? And I haven't got the knack of judging the weight - my first rock bounced off the other end, then my next 4 or 5 didn't even make it over the hog line. And to think of all these things at the same time - no, not in the forseeable future. Towards the end of the afternoon, our instructor would stand at the other end and put her broom where she wanted us to aim. Where I want the rock to go bears no relation to where the rock actually goes. Its a mystery where its going to end up every time I release.

I learned that sweeping is not fun. Trying to go quickly down the ice without falling is hard enough, but add in sweeping, looking at the rock so you sweep in front of it but don't hit it or the other persons broom is a near impossible combination. Too bad I don't know enough to be a skip, the skip hardly ever sweeps.

It was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot. Especially terms that I had heard before but never knew what they meant. So I will be going back next Sunday to learn some more.

Oh, and my last rock of the day landed right in the button. I totally meant to do that.

Official Birthday Countdown: 10 days until my birthday!

Going home

I have just been told by my boss to go home. Apparently my co-workers do not enjoy my constant sneezing, nose-blowing and coughing. Not that I blame them, I am quite germy and gross at the moment. The only good thing to come out of this nasty sickness is that I have now lost about 16lbs since I got sick. 3 cheers for being too sick to eat.

Desoto took off yesterday. I put him outside to go to the bathroom and turned my back for a couple of minutes and he was gone. I was totally freaking out and was getting ready to get dressed and go look for him, when a lady arrived with her dog and Desoto. Apparently Desoto had been at her house, so she took both dogs for a walk and then brought him home. I have no idea how she knew where I lived, but what a nice thing to do. As soon as I figure out where they live I am going to bring them dog treats for being so nice.

I am joining a curling league. It is for beginners and it starts on Sunday. Never having curled before, I hope I don't make a total ass of myself.

Official Birthday Countdown: 15 days until my birthday!

Out of the fog

I have now sufficiently recovered from my many and varied illnesses to be coherent enough to write something. I have been suffering from what started as a cold and then turned into a sinus infection, strep throat and bronchitis. On top of that, I have suddenly developed rosacea, which according to my dermatologist was simmering under the surface and brought out by all these infections and illnesses. And it will never go away, there is no cure and will only worsen over time. Great. Pretty soon I am going to look like W.C. Fields. Why couldn't it be on my ass, which I never look at and nobody else ever sees, why does it have to be on my face? I am going to have a serious talk with my parents because their union has produced at least one genetically weak child (I could point out a few things about my brother and sister, but since I want presents at Christmas, I will restrain myself). Of all the heriditary traits I coud have inherited, like height, long legs, or a genius IQ, I get short legs, asthma, hay fever, skin cancer prone skin and rosacea. Thanks guys.

Official Birthday Countdown: 16 days until my birthday!

To S....

I am sorry that both times I have seen you in the past ten years I have been completely shitfaced. I promise that I don't have a drinking problem, I don't even go out very much and hardly ever drink to excess, so you don't have to worry about me. I am sorry that I couldn't coherently tell you that it was really nice to see you, you look great and I am so happy that you are doing well. And if I did tell you that, I hope it didn't sound like a skanky pick up line. I hope that I told you your kids were beautiful when you showed me their pictures. They are beautiful, I just can't remember if I told you that. Oh, sorry I couldn't remember your wife's name, again. She is nice, I do remember that much.

I am sorry that I thought you were secretly gay when we were dating. I am sorry that's what I told my friends when they asked me why we broke up and that's why they all look at you like that. I am sorry that the night I saw you I told that story to my friends in what I drunkenly thought was a whisper, but realized later that my drunken whisper was probably heard by everyone in the entire bar, as were the other funny stories I told them about you. Especially the one about your you-know-what.

I am sorry you had to see me dancing. You can thank your lucky stars you didn't have to hear me sing again. I am sorry that you had to meet my friend J. Yes, he is always that annoying. It wasn't just because he was drunk. I am especially sorry that he hit on you after I told him the secretly gay story in an effort to prove or disprove my theory once and for all. In my defense, he couldn't tell for sure either.

I hope the next time you come home, we can have a nice talk, without all the drunkenness. And you can see that I have turned out ok and am not a falling down alcoholic.

Extra Big Stupidhead

Yesterday morning my dog proved, once and for all, the theory that an extra big head means you are extra stupid by getting sprayed in the face by a skunk. AGAIN! You would think after the first time and all the swearing, crying, nose running, bathing and vomiting (mostly by me, I'll admit, but still) he would have learned his lesson. But no, he will insist on chasing skunks. Previously on our walk, he didn't even notice the racoon mommy and her five little racoons. I would have been fine with him chasing them. Ok, not really, but at least they don't make you stink. He walked right by the racoons without noticing them, but the skunks he can see from a mile away. And we took a totally different route than the first time he got sprayed.

I am pretty sure my boss would think I was making this up as a reason not to come in to work -"You got sprayed by a skunk twice in less than 2 weeks, come on" - if the whole office couldn't smell me coming. that's the thing about skunk spray, it lingers. No matter how often you bathe or wash your clothes, it lingers. My first comment upon getting in to the office now is "Can you smell me"?

Since my dog seems incapeable of not running after skunks, I have no doubt you will be seeihng variations of this post until all the skunks are hibernating - they do hibernate, right?

Should I be worried?

I went to Shoppers today to pick up cold medication so that my nose would stop running. Very exciting I know, but it gets better. While I was paying with my debit card, I asked the clerk if I could have cash back as well. The woman beside me asked if I needed money to pay for my cold pills and when I explained that I didn't, I just needed cash to go and get coffee, proceeded to explain to me how coffee causes cancer of the colon! With descriptive terms and graphic imagery. I did not need that first thing in the morning, before I even had a freakin coffee. I'll worry about getting colon cancer after I have my morning coffee, okay?

Then after getting to work and of course, not working but reading stuff online, I read an article in the Washington Post that said:

"Conservative, religiously minded Americans are putting far more of their genes into the future than their liberal, secular counterparts."

Which means that Republican voters are reproducing at a higher rate than Democrats. And that states who voted for Bush have a higher birth rate than states that voted for Gore in 2000.

Thats a scary thought. Since a lot of kids grow up to have the same values, religion, and political beliefs as their parents, this makes me happy that I am not an American.

This makes me wonder if the people who like reality television are reproducing more than the people who don't like reality television, like me? I will soon be horribly outnumbered. Since I can't fight the trend with only my poor ovaries, I may need some help here.

This is hard work

I have been busy lately trying to find someplace to live. Right now I am staying with my parents (you can only imagine how thrilling this is) while I search for a place I can call home. My original plan was to stay with them for a couple of weeks, rent a house or a duplex for a year while I looked for a suitable house to buy. It is impossible to rent a place to,live when you own a giant dog. I have tried. Even the worst looking places, places that smell like something died inside the walls or have mould crawling across the ceilings, don't take pets - like a pet could make it worse?

So I have decided that if I don't want to live with Mom and Dad for the forseeable future, I must buy a house. I had no idea how much work this is. You have to search the Real Estate Guide, the internet, and/or question everyone you know looking for houses for sale. One bonus is that when people know you are looking for a house, they always know of "the perfect house for you"! Then you have to go and see all these houses, check out all the features/updates/problems. You have to work out the costs/mortgages/repairs. you have to figure out where you want to live, the features you can't live without, the features you want but don't really need and so on.

This is too much. What I would really like is for someone to do all this for me, do all the paperwork and just have me sign something, tell me how much I owe and give me the keys. I don't feel mature enough to have to make this decision. This is big, this is where I am going to live, for a long time. It is a huge amount of money (which still makes me want to throw up if I think about it, so I don't). Am I really old enough to have to make this kind of life-altering decision? I would like to say "I want my mommy" but my mommy just wants her house back, without me or a giant dog making a mess everywhere, and doesn't really care where I live, as long as it's not with her.

It fells like having a second full time job, this house hunting, except it costs money, has no benefits and is severely depressing.

Do you smell something...

Well, that would be me. I smell like skunk. Its faint, but its there. And its not good. Desoto and I went for a walk on Friday night. Other people have social lives and are actually out places, with other people, having fun, but me, I walk my dog. So, while we were out walking, Desoto sees something at the end of a driveway, and being either very curious or very dumb, wacks it with his paw. After its stops tumbling and rights itself, I see that it is a skunk and it is very mad and it chases us. Well, I was the one running, Desoto thought it wanted to play with him and didn't follow my example and run away, screaming skunk at the top of his lungs. So he got sprayed right in the face and as I was attached to Desoto by his leash, I got sprayed too.

Skunk spray is very potent and if you get sprayed in the face, it causes vomiting, frothing at the mouth and makes your eyes and nose produce copious amounts of grossness. In both people and dogs. Needless to say it was not a pleasant night. I have now tried every concoction known to man to remove the smell. Nothing works completely. After 100 baths, the smell is still there.

It is now 3 days later and I still smell like skunk as does Desoto and my house and car. All day long, my coworkers have been walking up to my cubicle and sniffing, then laughing and saying, "Yep, still there." Bastards.

Lead me not into temptation...

Ok, I try to be good and avoid temptation, I really do. I try to have learned from my past mistakes and avoid doing the same dumb things over and over again. But sometimes, it's really not my fault. I can try and try to avoid temptation, but when it jumps into my path and sticks it foot out to trip me, it's really not my fault.

Girl seeks adventure...

I was speaking with friends of mine the other day. They usually always go camping on the beach for their anniversary, so I asked if they had gone this year. They were going to go, but the weather report said there was a chance of a thunder storm that night, so they stayed home. It turned out that it didn't thunder or even rain. So they didn't have their camping trip due to the possibility of bad weather. It struck me that if I had made plans to go camping, with my spouse, on our anniversary, to a place that is kind of special to us, I don't think that I would let something like a thunderstorm stop me. I though it sounded kind of cool - I like thunder storms.

I am fairly impulsive. I like adventures. I like things that make my stomach drop and my heart pound (Thank God for you Christine, who alwasy comes with me). I like taking off for a day and doing things just for fun. I don't even want to be the kind of person who lets the possibility of bad weather stop them from doing something they want to do. I don't ever want to become the kind of person who stops having adventures or exploring possibilities.

Stupid names.

I think there there should be rules about naming your children. You can't just pick any old word out of thin air and just use it to call your child. Your child has to live with this for the rest of their lives, or at least until they are legally old enough to change it to something that isn't so stupid.

And it is still wrong to take a name and just add extra letters, like "a", "e" or "y", when they don't belong in that name, which was a perfectly good name when it was spelled the normal way.

This is one of my favorite websites - the names that some people think of for their children, who they ar supposed to love, are unbelievable! notwithoutmyhandbag.com

50 things about me...

Fifty things about myself:

1. I am average height. I wish I was very tall.
2. I watch a lot of television sometimes, then I won’t watch any for weeks.
3. I don’t know how to cook and have no desire to learn.
4. I eat when I'm bored or upset. Sometimes I eat when I'm hungry.
5. I could live on fruit.
6. I've been in love once.
7. It's hard for me to open up to people.
8. People often think I'm a snob but I'm just shy.
9. I get bored very easily.
10. I can be very moody.
11. My dream job would be to be a travel writer.
12. I have never watched “The Simpsons”.
13. I often wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason.
14. My sister is one of my favorite people and I would want to be her friend if we weren’t sisters.
15. My favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate. Vanilla is not a flavor - it is the absence of flavor.
16. I read a lot.
17. I'd like to go to Egypt.
18. I wear black almost every day.
19. I've been fired.
20. I have two nephews that I adore.
21. I think my brother’s wife is perfect for him.
22. I love my dog.
23. I've never been to a professional hockey game.
24. I'm not lucky.
25. I have glasses that I never, ever wear because I am too vain.
26. I work a lot.
27. I hate reality television
28. I'm a huge sucker for movies with dancing in them (Flashdance, Dirty Dancing, Footloose...).
29. I live for email.
30. I love to drive.
31. I am not very athletic.
32. I love shopping.
33. One of my many pet peeves is people who wear sunglasses indoors.
34. I can stay in my house, alone for days at a time, with no contact with the outside world.
35. I fantasize about living in seclusion on a deserted island.
36. I like my parents.
37. I think everyone should have to be a waiter or waitress once in their lives so they understand how hard they work - and then tip appropriately.
38. I'm a good kisser.
39. I often feel alone, even in a big crowd.
40. I either love or hate my job, never anything in between.
41. I don't have a long term plan.
42. I'd like to get married someday, I think.
43. I give people nicknames in my head.
44. I don’t eat meat.
45. I cannot sleep on a plane.
46. I have great friends that have known me since I was young and still like me.
47. I lose my keys everyday.
48. My face gets red at the slightest provocation.
49. It's hard for me to ask for help.
50. I'm not a morning person.

Parental Guilt

I am having extreme guilt about having to leave my dog all day while I work. It doesn't help that I work 2 jobs - Veterans Affairs by day and bartender at Dalvay By the Sea 4 nights a week. So some days, we go for a walk in the morning, I see him again at lunch time, again for a few minutes between jobs and not again until midnight. I am suffering from such guilt! And Desoto can turn on the sad looks like you would not believe. At least , since I am staying with my parents while house-hunting, they are home with him more than I am, but still since they also work, he is alone a lot. I feel bad that I am not home playing with him during the day, that he either has to be tied up in the yard or shut in the house or garage while I am not home. This seems cruel and adds to the already overwhelming guilt. I am a terrible mother for leaving him all day. Obviously, I can never have children - I wouldn't be able to leave my house!

He has to lie on a blanket so he doesn't drool all over the floor. 

I think he looks hung-over in this picture! 

Pretty boy! 

He looks kind of intimidating, but he is a big sweetie. 

He is a very big dog. He weighs about 150lbs right now and won't be full grown for another 18 months. 

This is Desoto, my dog. He is a Dogue de Bordeaux. 

People Magnet

So, my dog is finally here. I went over to St. Stephen, NB on Friday to pick up Desoto, accompanied by my friend Liane, who made the long drive much more fun with her company and her collection of 70's rock and 80's pop. She didn't even complain when I laid down the "no Clay Aiken" rule. The drive was not too bad, about 4.5 hours there and a little longer to get back with quick stops at the Mall, Starbucks (ahhhhhh, Starbucks coffee) and the liquor store, and Desoto was quite well behaved. He did manage to get a lot of drool over the entire inside of the car which was kind of gross.

We stopped at the Big Stop in Salisbury and while Liane went inside, I took Desoto over on the grass. Within 2 minutes, 10 people came over to see him. One little girl came right up and gave him a big hug - she wasn't a bit scared of him, althouhg her mother almost had a heart attack! Everyone wanted to see him, pet him and to know what kind of dog he was. Two big bikers, all in their leathers, came over and made a huge fuss over him, and another guy brought his boxer puppy over to say hello - the puppy was not even as big as Desoto's head.

He has been adapting well to life in Stratford. We had a big open house on the weekend for my Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary and of course, everyone wanted to see my new baby - he didn't mind all the people, I think he likes the attention. He is a little nervous sometimes if there are too many people at one time, and then he hides behind me, which is funny to see.

I will post some pictures later.

Tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow is the day I finally pick up my dog. I have to leave PEI at an ungodly hour in the morning - around 5 am - to drive to St. Stephen, pick up the dog and then turn around and drive right back to PEI. With stops at the liquor store and Starbucks in Moncton. The liquor store because they have a better selection and much cheaper prices than in PEI, and Starbucks because we don't have one here. Which is actually kind of a good thing, because I would be totally strung out on caffine and totally broke from buying $4.00 coffees.

Is it just human nature?

I have a question. I just found out today that one of my former boyfriends is getting married in 2 weeks. We dated a very long time ago, have kept in contact only sporadically, seen each other only a few times, yet it still bothers me slightly that he is getting married to someone other than me. Not that I want to marry him, I don't, but I also don't want him to be married to anyone else. Is this just me being wierdly territorial or is it human nature to not want someone else to have something that used to be ours, even if we don't want it any more?

It may just be me who feels this way - I also have a hard time getting rid of clothes, shoes or books that I don't wear or read. I guess my pack-rat personality exteds to boyfriends as well.

Only 6 more sleeps

Only six more sleeps until I get my new dog. I am so vey excited. His name is Desoto and he is a 1.5 year old Douge de Bordeaux. For any of you that have seen the movie "Turner and Hooch", he is the same breed as Hooch. I have to drive to St. Stephen, NB to pick him up next Friday and I cannot wait. The breeder, Paula Grant, of Grant Bordeaux - here is their website -Grant Bordeaux
has been so helpful with getting the dog and I just cannot wait to bring him home. Wiggy, the cat, may not be so overjoyed.
I will post some pictures as soon as I bring him home.

I am so very glad that its Friday and I get to leave my very warm office and sit on the deck with a very large glass of red wine.

Have a great weekend.

Its not the heat....

Come on, you know the rest of the saying - it's the humidity! Thank goodness the sun is finally out here in PEI. It has been raining and cold since I got back from my trip, but the sun has finally come out and summer is here. I love summer. I love the heat. I even, well maybe not love, but tolerate the humidity, as long as I am at the beach. Working on the 4th floor of a non air-conditioned building sucks. I keep waiting for TPTB to send us home since it is clearly too hot to work. So far, still waiting. Cruel and unusual punishment. Don't they realize that I haven't been to the beach once this year!

Photos from my trip

I just recently returned from a trip to South Africa. My friend Christine and I took 3 weeks and toured around. We flew into Cape Town, then rented a car and drove along the coast, eventually flying out of Johannesburg. What a great trip. I have posted a bunch of pictures and will be posting more later.

Cape of Good Hope 

Jackass Penguins at Boulders Beach 

Cape Point 

Camps Bay 

Camps Bay 

Camps Bay 

Jackass Penguins at Boulders Beach 

Nelson Mandela's cell in Robben Island Prison 

Zebras at Addo Elephant Park, Sout Africa 

This was our tour guide on Robben Island - he was a former prisoner 

Table Mountain, seen from a boat going out to Robben Island 

Miniature hippo at Cango Wildlife Park, Oudtshoon, South Africa
 

Leopard at Cango Wildlife Park, Oudtshoon, South Africa
 

Feeding the goats at Cango Wildlife Park, Oudtshoon, South Africa
 

Lioness eating at Cango Wildlife Park, Oudtshoon, South Africa
 

Feeding the goats at Cango Wildlife Park, Oudtshoon, South Africa
 

White Bengal Tiger at Cango Wildlife Park, Oudtshoon, South Africa