I am defective

Seriously, there are just too many parts of me that don't work. I want my money back. I had such high hopes after starting my new job, that now I was away from all the old, nasty files and away from that environment, I would never get sick again. I have gotten sick. I have missed a few days with horrible migraines, and now I have just spent the weekend in the hospital with a ruptured ovarian cyst. I really really hate the hospital. Everyone was really nice and they gave me lots of lovely morphine, so I spent most of the time alternating between writhing in pain and being really floaty and stoned, but still, it's a hospital, with the johnny shirts and the uncomfortable beds and the needles.

Desoto had to stay at my parents house, and they took great care of him, but he really missed me. I can tell because now he seems to want to be attached to me, following me everywhere (and by everywhere I mean between the bed and the bathroom because it still hurts too much to go father than that), sleeping as close to me as he can get, and trying to lick my face all the time. While it is nice that he missed me, the face licking is getting old.

Read Instructions Carefully

This is the funniest thing I have seen for ages! I saw it on A Socialite's Life and had to share.

I fear for our youth...

I just read these on Overheard in New York:

Girl #1: It's not that I hated history, I just hated all the
memorization. All the names, and dates, and places. And the wars! I mean, how am I supposed to remember whether Hitler was in World War I or World War II?
Girl #2: I think he had his own war.


Teen girl #1: Okay. Maybe I'm, like, retarded for not knowing this,
but...did you guys know that other countries have national anthems, too?
Teen girl #2: Duh! It's the same song, in different languages!

Sad news

So Dana Reeve, Christopher Reeve's wife, just died of cancer. Very sad news, especially for their son, who I think is around 12 or 13. To go through what that family went through, Christopher Reeve's accident, his death and now the death of Mrs. Reeve from lung cancer (and she was not a smoker), just seems so unfair. You know? Why didn't OJ get cancer? Or child molesting Michael Jackson? Or Hitler? It just seems wrong that this poor woman, who already went through so much, should lose her life in her early forties when there are so many bad people out there who never even catch a cold.

My boss is mean

I was speaking to a friend of mine at lunchtime today, and she told me that she had just waited on Paul MacCartney and his wife at the Roots store here in town. I immediately went back to work and told my boss that stalking the former Beatle as he shopped around town was a legitimate reason for me to be able to leave work for the afternoon. She did not agree. Mean.

The sweet spell of success

It worked! My profanity laced rant at the kitchen sink somehow worked as a magical spell that caused my water tap to fix itself. Yay! See, sometimes it does work.

I miss the Olympics

I am very whiny today. There is nothing good on tv. Its cold out. My kitchen is broken. Actually, only the hot water in my kitchen is broken. The cold water works just fine, but when I turn on the hot water, no water comes out. Now the hot water works just fine upstairs, but not in the kitchen. It's very odd. It worked yesterday, but I came home for lunch, and it's broken. I went back to work after lunch, hoping that by the time I got home after work, it would have magically fixed itself. This is how I handle quite a few things, surprisingly few of which have ever magically fixed themselves, and no surprise this didn't either. My windshield wipers did magically fix themselves, but then again, they magically broke themselves, but wait... so did the hot water, so I am not going to give up just yet. I'll wait until tomorrow. I did call my Dad, because I always call my dad about stuff like that, and he told me what he always tells me - call someone to come and fix it. He doesn't believe in magic either.

But its cold out...

Since it is currently about -40 degrees outside, and I have a bad cold and am feeling sick and whiny, I am trying to convince Big Dog that lying in bed watching the Westminster Dog Show is a much better idea than going for a run. Judging by the sighing and "I am the saddest dog in the world" looks I am getting, I am not succeeding.

A little story about Desoto

In honour of the fact that Desoto and I are watching Turner and Hooch (our favorite movie) right now, here is a little story about Desoto, who just might be the smartest dog in the world. Or at least the neatest. I bought a big wicker basket a couple of weeks ago to keep all of Desoto's toys in. When I was home for lunch one day I put all of his toys away and as I was picking them up, I kept showing him where I was putting the toys. Of course this took a while because whenever I put a toy in the basket, he would run over and take it out again. Anyway, I eventually got them all cleaned up except for a few he was chewing on. When I came home after work that day, there were no toys on the floor, which I thought was wierd but I soon forgot about it. A couple of days later, I was watching tv and Desoto was chewing on one of his squeaky toys, and as I was watching, he took that toy to the basket, put it in and took out a different toy. Desoto puts his toys away after he is done playing with them! See, the smartest dog in the world. Now, if only I could teach him to pick up after me.

Do competitors ever die at the Olympics?

I have been camped in front of my television, watching as much of the olympics as possible, and marvelling at how insane some of these athletes have to be in order to compete in some of these sports. Skeleton? Luge? Do they really think that the helemet and spandex suit they wear is going to help as they hurtle down the track at 100 km per hour? Sheer insanity. The snowboard cross, where they can push each other out of the way (and did you not feel sooo bad for Lindsey Jacobellis when she lost the gold medal by pulling a little method air and falling?), not to mention any of the downhill skiing and jumping competitions. I watched a clip show of some of the accidents and crashes and it really amazed me that these athletes, who must have nerves of steel, can still compete after watching one of their competitors have a spectacular crash and be taken away on a stretcher. They showed one girl who competes in snowjumping, who had a bad fall and BROKE HER NECK and is now back competing! I am pretty sure that if I broke my neck doing something, I would stop doing it. But I guess thats why I don't have any medals. Unless taking to your bed becomes an olympic sport, 'cause I would totally take the gold in that.

Happy Houseiversary

A year ago this week, I became a home owner. It seems like just yesterday I was looking at houses trying to find the one that I belonged in, but on the other hand, it seems like I have lived here forever. This house had such a comfortable feeling, even the first time I came to see it, that I knew that I would be happy here. And I have been. I would be slightly happier if someone would give me free oil and if Desoto would learn how to work the vacuum cleaner, but it has been a happy year.

I wasn't sure how I would like owning my own house, it has always seemed like a little more responsibility than I was comfortable with, but I guess I put off becoming a full fledged adult for long enough. I haven't found the day to day responsibilities hard to handle at all, just once in a while things will come up, like bills for things that I have never had to deal with, or home repairs that I have no experience with, but a quick phone call to Dad usually resolves the issues.

So happy houseiversary to me.

Happy VD

Happy Valentines Day, everyone. Go check out these VD poems - so amazing and amazingly funny, you'll laugh until you cry!

Go Canada Go

I love the Olympics. If only I didn't have to go to work, I would watch the Olympics all day, every day while they are on. Ok, I might take a short break for Lost, but only if it's on against a boring event, like Cross Country Skiing (you really only have to watch the end of that to see who wins). I love them so much, sometimes I cry watching the athletes get so overwhelmed when they win. Except for the snowboarders - they are all "Hey dude, I was just, hanging, you know, trying to do my thing". I really have to question whether or not they drug test these guys, because they are so hilarious.

Holy shit, I am watching the pairs figure skating free skate and one of the chinese girls just took a monster fall and got back up and kept skating. Wow! That's why I love the Olympics.

Sawyer!!!

There's a new sherrif in town, boys!!!!

Happy Birthday Jennifer!

It is my favorite sister's birthday today. Go here and wish her a happy birthday! And then tell her to update her blog!

Brokeback Mountain

I just saw Brokeback Mountain and I can honestly say it was one of the best movies that I have ever seen. I read the short story years ago, and while I was moved by it, it didn't resonate with me the way this movie has. It is an amazingly beautiful movie, both the story and the cinematography, about love and loss and longing and heartbreak. How anyone could see it and not be moved, or be offended by the material, I cannot comprehend. They must have no soul.

No excuses

Wow, I have been really lax lately in updating this blog. Unfortunately, my life has not been jam packed with exciting activity, leaving me no free time to update. There really has been no good reason for it, except pure lazyness. And procrastination. Although, I don't win the prize for best procrastinator - that award goes to my brother and sister-in-law, who have still not mailed their christmas presents to me and my parents. No, I am not kidding. Apparently the three of us will be having a hybrid christmas/valentines day. Although there is no guarantee that they will be here by then.

In other news, I am training for a marathon. It seemed like a really good idea at the time, but OW!!!! Ow, Ow, Ow. Running is not fun. I keep waiting for the day that I will wake up and love to run, but so far that has not happened. Since I left my old job that was making me sick, I have been feeling much, much better. So much better that I started out working out and running again. I used to run a lot years ago. I was thinner and a lot younger then. So, anyway, with all of the feeling good, I got this book "The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer" which has a 16 week program to running a marathon. Right now, I am still in the getting in good enough shape to start the program part of the program. I am now running 3 miles 4 times a week, and I start the 16 week program next Monday. The marathon is in Halifax on the 21st of May and hopefully my sister, who is starting to train as well, will be running with me.

Touchy feeley

It is amazing how many times a day I unconsciously touch my nose. Ouch!

Betcha can't guess what I got for Christmas...

A broken nose! My big goofy dog, whose giant head is apparently made of rock, hit my face with that giant head while we were playing and broke my nose. In his defense, he did feel really badly about it, and while I laid on the floor and cried, he laid down beside me and cried too, licking my elbow every few minutes to make me feel better. It is actually not completely broken, just a hairline fracture, but I still have a swollen face and 2 black eyes. Just the thing for pictures around the christmas tree. And, in case you didn't know, a broken nose is very, very painful. Sneezing will make me scream in pain, and I am now terrified of people hugging me, because that brings them a little too close to my face for me to be entirely comfortable. Last night, my friend playfully pretended to grab my nose and I immediately burst into tears just from the thought of the pain. I sure am a fun party guest.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Christine,
Happy birthday to you!

Now you have to imagine that sung in my very off-key voice and accompanied by the many and varied snorting stylings of Desoto to get the full effect. I hope you have a great day! Happy Birthday Christine!