I knew I wasn't paranoid!

I saw this article about a 6-foot African rock python appearing in a St. Petersburg toilet and almost had a heart attack. I knew I wasn't crazy all those times I couldn't sit on the toilet without looking in it first, scared that something was going to bite me!

Ebay Freak

Ok, I love Ebay - I will freely admit that. I may, in fact, be slightly addicted. But I like to think that I would never get this carried away! Seriously! People are wierd. What if somebody names them, I don't know, Frodo and Placenta? If I found out that my Mom let somebody else pick my name, and I ended up with some freaked out name, I would be pissed. Although, if I was a boy, my mom was going to name me Michaelangelo Farmer.

Paint, Paint, Paint

I am starting to get tired of painting. And I like painting. I have made a lot of progress, but yesterday was frustrating. I wanted to finish the bathroom, but about halfway through, I ran out of paint. then I wanted to finish the second bedroom, but I ran out of paint. So, in frustration, I gave up and went home, only to find my mother, frustrated also after painting her house all day. My family has painting fever.

All my stuff is getting moved in on Saturday, after baing in storage for a year. MY STUFF! I love my stuff! I have missed my stuff! I forget what I own. I can't wait to unpack and see everything - it will be like Christmas. And my clothes - I can't wait to get everything out of boxes and hang stuff up. I will have different clothes to wear, at least until my sister comes to visit and steals all the stuff I like. Jen, I think we will have to instutite a new rule - for everything that you take, you have to give back something that you took previously.

I am having my cable hooked up next week. I am excited. I ordered the movie channels, so I fully expect to become a total couch potato, sitting around watching all the movies that I never got to the theater to see - which is a lot.

This will be a good week, once I finish paining - there will be cable and clothes and stuff! Woo Hoo!

Travel Bug

I was driving to work this morning when I was overcome with an intense, overwhelming longing to be somewhere else. Somewhere far away. About to have an adventure. Now this may be a reaction to all this house buying business and to the fact that I won't be taking my planned trip to Mexico this spring, opting instead to go to Montreal to attend one of my cousin's weddings. I don't know, but I just wanted to be anywhere but here. I love to travel. I am lucky to have a good friend who also likes to travel and together we go lots of fun places. We usually always rent a car to get around, because I love the freedom of being able to go anywhere we want to go without having to depend on public transportation in a foreign country. And we are both pretty good drivers, even the one with the lead foot, and have never had a problem getting around. Getting lost does not count as a problem, with the two of us, it is an inevitable part of the journey. We get lost all the time. Occasionally we have a fight about each other's poor navigational skills or inability to follow / give simple directions, but it doesn't take us too long to get back on track.

The first time we rented a car on our travels was in Ireland. Christine had looked after the ticket and renting the car and all those details, and so we had no problems at all, except when we got to the car and realized that we each expected the other to drive. We had a big fight about it in the parking lot.

"I am not driving, I have never driven on the left before"
"Well, I am not driving, I can't drive a standard"
"I am not driving"
"I am not driving"
"Well, I am not driving"
"Well, I am not driving either"

And so it continued, until I, in an inspired move to end the arguement once and for all in my favor, stomped around to the passenger seat, got in the car, and slammed the door, thinking "so there" because if she had to get in the drivers side, she would have to drive.

In the UK, the passenger seat is on the left. In Canada, the passenger seat is on the right. I got in the right side of the car, the driver's seat, thus losing by default.

Happily, I now have no fear of driving on either side and really enjoy the much higher speed limits in other countries. Although it does take me a while to re-adjust (slow down) when I get back home. I think that is what I was thinking about when I was driving to work - wouldn't it be great if I was driving somewhere totally new, about to have an adventure, not just to my boring job.

And now for something completely different

I could not sleep last night. Probably from all the house excitement. I had been down in the basement looking through some old boxes that I have stored down there, and I came across one of my old english poetry textbooks. I decided to read through it, in the hopes that it would make me sleepy, and I found that it contained 2 of my favorite poems. So I thought today that I would post them here, just for a change.

Ozymandias

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed,
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Percy Bysshe Shelley
1792-18


Funeral Blues (this is from the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral, in case you think it sounds familiar but can't quite place it)

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W. H. Auden

This is my house. It is green. I also have a giant barn in the back yard. 

I OWN A HOUSE! 

Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day, everybody.

You know the best thing about Valentines Day? All the candy goes on sale tomorrow!

One more day until I OWN A HOUSE!

Grown Up

I got house insurance today. God, I am such a grown-up. I don't think I like it.

Secrets

I just found this website. It is called Post Secret and people write secrets on postcards and send them in. Some of the secrets were pretty amazing. Does anyone have a secret they would like to share? I dare you.

You know you are an extreme fan when...

you cut off your balls to celebrate your team winning! This guy must have been pretty darn drunk, or mentally ill, because if he wasn't, that is just stupid. Well, it's still really stupid, but at least he won't father any kids who will then grow up to be this dumb.

Starbucks

Did you know that Starbucks makes COFFEE LIQUOR?
AND ICE CREAM?
All of my favorite things, all together!
Somebody find me some!

Dumbass

Recently here in Charlottetown, a cop was fired because he stole (from the police station) counterfeit money that had been seized by the police, and spent it. This is so stupid, it boggles the mind. Why would he try to spend it all at once? Why wouldn't he spend a little at a time, so if someone caught it, he could pass it off as a mistake? Did he not think that if a lot of fake money was missing from the police station, a cop would be one of the first suspects? It's a shame that I am not a criminal, because I am sure I couldn't do any worse than this guy. He threw away a whole career for less than $500.

Oh, and our police force only has one guy who is able to charge people for driving under the influence of drugs. So all you guys who are too nervous to drink and drive should get all loaded up on OxyContin and tear down the road. It doesn't really matter if they catch you because unless that one guy is working, they can't do anything to you. If you weren't scared about Island drivers before, you should be now!

6 more days until I am a home owner!

Some funny stuff

These are two things that are making me laugh today:

This is a link to Patches the horse. He is pretty talented, but you can tell that these two men are batchelors, because what woman would let this horse in her house all the time?

This is a link to Einstein the parrot. Einstein is the same kind of parrot as Vern, my sister-in-law's parrot, although Vern's act needs a little work compared to this one.

BIRTHDAY!

It's Jennifer's birthday today! This is her email - mccalla@platinum.ca - you should wish her a happy birthday. And send her expensive presents. Or money.

I have a headache

I have a really big headache that does not want to go away. I stayed home from work yesterday because the headache does not like things like light, sound or movement and in response to any of these things it brings out the intense pain, blindness and vomiting. So I stayed in my bed, with the blinds closed and the lights off and prayed for death. Unfortunately, Desoto thought this meant that I stayed home to entertain him and proceeded to drive me insane for the whole day. I love my dog, but when he is bored and wants to play and stands on me while I am in pain, he is not so cute. So every hour or so, I would make him go outside so I could get some sleep but then he would stand on the doorstep and cry so loud, I could hear him from my bed and then I would go downstairs and let him in, so he could stand on me and drive me nuts again. Repeat 10 times.

So today, even though my head still hurts (although its much better) I though coming to work would be slightly more restful than staying home with the dog. It was, although not very productive. I always feel slightly brain damaged after I have a really bad migraine, like all the parts of my brain aren't quite working again. So, I didn't get anything really difficult done today, I'll save the hard stuff for a day when all cylinders are firing.

Now I am going to babysit my little cousin Garrett. He is about 15 months old and so sweet. Since my nephews are so far away, I love having my baby time with Garrett - he is almost as cute as my gorgeous boys.